Faded Poems and Broken Violins
by xXxPoisonedAngelxXx
Summary: Elementary student Hinamori Amu writes poetry. On her way from school one day she bumps into a certain Blue Haired Pervert and he takes her book of poems! Read about Amu's struggle to regain her book! Please read! Drama, Romance, Poetry and Hurt/Comfort
1. Of Realization and Searching

**Moona:** Hello, and thank you for reading! This was originally written by me and **Tsukiyomi Suki-chan**, but she decided to continue her own stories, which I am very happy about!

**_NOTE: NO, THIS STORY IS NOT MEANT TO ROMANTICIZE SELF HARM OR MENTAL DISORDERS. _**

****_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

Chapter One:

Of Realization and Searching

_**Some people just don't realize something right in front of them  
>Sometimes we only learn what we had,<br>When it's gone.  
>And sometimes<br>We never look for it.**_

**Amu POV**

It was a boring Friday afternoon, and I was stuck in school, making matters much worse. I had nothing to do, and I was stuck in a boring class, my teacher droning on and on with a stupid lecture that we've all heard at least a couple of million times. I sighed and looked across the room, spying on my all time crush, Hotori Tadase. He looked so cute and innocent, just staring at the teacher. His platinum blonde hair always shined in the sun light, his ruby red eyes shining with that bright spark he held.

Look at me, Hinamori Amu, the Cool N Spicy girl, fantasizing about Hotori Tadase, the Princely boy. I'm way in over my head. I could never be with a guy like that. Tadase-kun's always so nice to everyone while I'm just.. well, how do I put it? I'm selfish, stubborn, and self centered. Plus, I'm such a dork.. I write poetry and stories while he takes on such huge responsibilities about our school. All I do is watch my little sister Ami.

But I can't help it. He's so.. _charming_.

"Hinamori Amu!" my teacher yelled out. My heart stammered and pounded in my chest.

"Yes, sensei?" I asked, using my exterior character.

"I asked you a question, and I don't plan on repeating it, _Miss Hinamori_," my teacher said, a bit of edge in his voice. I was inwardly screaming for help, quietly dying of embarrassment.

"Sorry, sensei," I began, looking out the window, brushing my hair off of my shoulder, "I wasn't paying attention."

I heard my classmates whisper about me. I felt the Prince's piercing gaze land on me. I couldn't take it. I was screaming and freaking out so much inside.

Finally, the bell rang, and I rushed outside, ready to be on my way home. I ran into the Prince by accident, and he fell to the ground. Cue the inward freak-out.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized to me. I stared down at him with a blank expression, making sure I kept up my stupid "Cool N Spicy" stereotype. I _was_ still at school, after all.

"Watch out where you're going next time, shorty."

I walked away, my bag slung over my shoulder. I glared ahead, just wanting to get home. What a tiring day.

When I reached a park beyond the school grounds, I let out a sigh. I went through my bag, grabbing a white and black notebook from inside. It had white and black stars everywhere, and it said NOTES on the cover. On the inside covers, it was green with white polka dots. On the inside pages.. they held every single thing I had ever written. I reached in my bag, pulling out a regular ball point pen, filled with black ink. I slung my bag back over my shoulder, walking onto a busy street's side walk.

Next to me was a tall man with dark midnight blue hair and sapphire eyes. I look a quick glance at him, my eyes darting back away so quickly that it made me a bit dizzy. I didn't want to get caught. What an interesting looking person though. Blue hair. I wonder if it's natural. I'm one to talk though. Bubblegum pink hair, and honey golden eyes? That's not common at all either.

_Red light. _  
><em>Cross.<em>

We all began to walk. The man bumped into me. I glared up at him.

"Hey, watch it," I growled lightly, exterior character taking over once again. He looked down at me. His eyes screamed boredom, but something felt off.

**He was..**

"..Sorry," a voice like velvet and honey.

**Breath taking.**

_Eyebrows raised. Eyes wider._

"What are you thinking, you perverted kid? Don't go around getting any strange ideas now."

"Nothing, you perverted old man!"

And so it begins.

I'm going to scare off inspiration. Yet again.

"Sure."

He rolled his sapphire eyes.

_He's playing games._

"Oh, shut up," I snapped back, briskly walking away from him. He walked up behind me. I turned back around.

"Are you some sort of stalker?"

Oh, just great. Here I go again.

"You wish."

A gagging sensation arose.

What a perverted guy.

"Leave me alone," I said, trying to walk away, but he walked forward, and we collided. _Again._

"Ugh, just get out of my way!" I yelled in frustration, storming off.

I found my way home, avoiding that Blue Stalker. I sighed and opened up the door to my house, yelling a brief, "I'm home!" as I stepped inside, slipping off my shoes. I received a few welcome homes from my parents, and a shrill "wewcome home swis!" from my baby sister. I walked upstairs, throwing my bag on my bed and closing the door. I plopped on my bed, searching my bag for my book.

_It wasn't there._

"Oh my God," I gasped.

_He_ has it.

**Normal POV**

As the midnight haired boy reached his home, he skimmed some pages of the girl's book, quite interested what was in here.

"This Is For Hinamori Amu's Eyes Only. This Book Is Closed!" was written on the first page. He chuckled.

"Hinamori Amu, eh?"

**"To Bare Arms"**

A razor with a fine blade,  
>A girl with a problem.<br>This is what it all came down to.  
>She needed an escape,<br>this was her solution.  
>She sobbed and sobbed,<br>Not knowing where to turn to.  
>To cut, or not to cut?<br>The question raced through her mind.  
>She was so terrified.<br>This was her first time.  
>If she did this wrong<br>It would be her last time.  
>Releasing a shaky sigh<br>she pressed cold metal to her wrist.

She slid the blade  
>Flinching at the feeling.<br>This was her coping mechanism.  
>This was how she fought<br>the kids in the classroom  
>and the voices in her head.<p>

He stopped walking, staring at the ink stained page.

_A little girl like her.. writing about this?_

It didn't make sense to him.

She was so full of life, so vibrant.

He remembered her lack of a smile.

_Maybe she's just shy.. _he reassured himself, continuing to walk to his home. He walked up to his room, putting the girl's notebook on his bed. He grabbed some homework, finally deciding to get his mind off of the pink haired girl.

"This is going to be a _long_ night," he groaned to himself.

**Moona: **Thank you so much for reading! I know, my writing can get a bit formal for some of you. Either way, I hope you enjoy our story! **Please review!**

Signed with Love,

xXxPoisonedAngelxXx


	2. Imagination

**Suki-chan:** Yo peeps! It's Suki-chan here! Yes, as Moona-chan has said in the previous chappie, I am doing a story with her. Okay, so here's how it works. Usually, Moona-chan will be doing the odd number chapters while I do the even numbers. Yeah, my part might suck… but I really hope you guys review so that we know that there are people reading. LOL! Anyways, here's chapter 2…  
><strong>~*~*~<strong>

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

**~*~*~**  
>Chapter 2:<p>

**Imagination**

AMU POV

"ARGGGHHHH! I can't believe it! How did I even lose it?" I was so frustrated, I was rolling on my bed like a maniac.

I can't believe that-that… old _pervert _actually stole my book… it has all of my poems and stories in it too!

He must be reading it right now. He must be thinking, "This girl is a weirdo." He must be laughing at the poems I'm writing right now.

"ARGGHHH!" I messed my hair like crazy.

I continued to roll on my bed until I got tired and stopped. I hugged my pillow.

"I wonder which poem he's reading right now…"

**IKUTO POV**

I put my books away. Homework done, what next?

I stood up and walked to my bed. On it was a book. Next to it was my violin case. I moved the case and lied on the bed. Then I picked up the book.

This evening, when I read the first poem, I had thought how could a little girl write a poem like that? I mean, she's only in elementary school.

Okay, I admit. It is good.

Well, I just decided to read another one, I was bored. So, I flipped the page randomly until one caught my eye.

"**Imagination" **

Silver tears  
>Falling from her eyes<br>These tears she cries  
>It's all a disguise<br>A mask she wears  
>Thinking no one cares<br>But they do  
>She doesn't wanna believe<p>

Those voices in her head  
>Tell her she's not loved<br>She stares at her reflection in the mirror  
>Those faint voices getting clearer<br>Why can't they hear her?  
>She tells them to stop<br>It's a mass production  
>She can't fight the seduction<br>Of that one little voice  
>In her head<p>

Telling her it won't be okay  
>Telling her to do those evil things<br>Telling her about the relief it brings,  
>Telling her it only stings<p>

Her heart breaking  
>Soul escaping<br>Her conscience gone wild  
>She's only a child<br>She's only a twelve year old  
>And yet she's being told<br>That every time they said the loved her  
>It was all a lie<p>

She never knew  
>Your imagination could be the death of you<br>She never thought it was true  
>Until she realized what she was about to do<p>

_She's lonely,_ I thought after reading this. She doesn't have any friends. She wants people to notice her.

I put the book down. Now that I think about it, she never smiled. And the way she talked, she seemed to have the cool tone.

But she's lonely.

I shook my head. I wasn't gonna let a small kid take over my mind. I got up and went downstairs to get a glass of milk.

**THE NEXT DAY BEFORE SCHOOL**

NORMAL POV

Amu went back to the park. She looked around for the NOTES book.

"Where could it be?" She asked herself.

She was too busy looking for the book she didn't notice that someone was behind her.

"Erm, Hinamori-san?" A voice asked. Amu jumped and turned around. Then her heart thumped louder.

"Ah, ah…. Ta-Tadase-kun!" she blushed furiously. Her heart was still thumping.

"Were you looking for something?" he asked, smiling at her. The smile was so dazzling it made her heart thump harder.

"It's none of your business." Her cool-and-spicy façade returning.

"Oh, okay then. Well, if you need any help, then you can tell me." he was still smiling and that made Amu feel a little guilty.

"Whatever." Amu replied, and she left Tadase alone in the park.

While walking, she punched herself mentally. "Idiot, idiot, idiot! You should have been more polite! You should have talked nicely and maybe he would be friends with you! ARGGHHHH!"

Amu walked to her class. She was having music right now and it was her favorite subject. The teacher, Kanaki-sensei was nice and played the piano very nicely.

She was late for class. She knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Amu opened the door and entered the music room. "I'm sorry for being late." She apologized to the teacher.

Kanaki-sensei shook her head and smiled, "It's okay, Hinamori-san. It was nice of you to join us."

Amu wanted to smile back, but all she did was nod and went to her seat.

"Well, today I have a special guest. I was going to play a very beautifully written song by Beethoven and I needed someone to play the violin while I played the piano. So, I decided to borrow a student from the neighboring school and I found the right person."

There was a knock on the door. When the teacher allowed the person to come in, a tall boy with midnight blue hair entered. Amu's eyes widened.

"I thought Tsukiyomi Ikuto would be the best person. Are you ready, Tsukiyomi-san?" The teacher asked. He nodded.

As the teacher started playing the piano, Ikuto slowly played the violin.

Amu was still staring at him. "It's him!" she thought to herself. He was the one who took the book.

As they finished, he opened his sapphire blue eyes and his eyes found Amu's. While everyone was clapping their hands, they looked at each other. Then, there was a smirk on his face. Amu blushed. He was smirking at her.

"Thank you very much Ikuto-san. You can go back to your class. Tell your teacher I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble."

Ikuto shook his head. "It's fine. It was a pleasure." He thanked the teacher. Before he left the room, he turned again to look at Amu. Again, he smirked.

"I must get it back." Amu told herself. "I must!"

**AFTER SCHOOL**

Amu walked to the park. She was looking for Ikuto.

"Damn that old man! How dare he smirk at me! Stealing my stuff!" Amu muttered furiously.

"Talking to yourself? That's weird." Someone with a husky voice said. Amu turned around. It was Ikuto, with his stupid smirk.

"Give it back." Amu said, walking towards him angrily.

"Give what back?" he asked innocently. Amu gritted her teeth. "You took my book, didn't you?" she asks through her gritted teeth. His smirk grew wider.

"Yeah I did." He replied. Amu wanted to slap him so badly.

"So, give it back!" Amu yelled. He didn't reply, just stood still and shrugged.

"I don't know. Give me a few good reasons?" he said.

Amu lifted her hands up to slap him but he managed to grab her wrist. He smirked again, this time a victory smirk.

"Let me go, idiot!" Amu struggled to let her wrist go but his grasp was tight. Amu's wrist hurt.

"I know how you feel." He suddenly said. And he was no longer smirking. His face was now serious and he was gazing into her eyes now. Amu blushed.

"W-What are you talking about?" Amu looked away from him. He let go of her wrist and lifted her chin up. "You're lonely, aren't you?" he asked her. Amu bit her lip. "No, of course I'm not. I'm fine." she said, folding her arms and looked away from him.

"It's in the poem. You think your mom doesn't love you. You don't have friends. You feel… alone."

Amu could feel her eyes stinging. He was right. She was lonely. She was unloved. And for the first time, someone understood her.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. "How did you know?" she asked, not looking up. He walked closer to her, then lifted her head up. He wiped her tears off gently.

"Because I read them, and I read your feelings." He replied. Amu didn't know why, but she suddenly hugged him and sobbed.

He hugged her back and it was so comforting. Amu wanted him to embrace her tighter. She felt…

_Wanted_.

For once.

**HINAMORI RESIDENCE**

Amu sat on her bed. She was thinking about that evening. After Ikuto hugged her, she thanked him.

He had smiled and messed her hair. Then he left her, smiling too.

Suddenly, she felt inspired. She felt like… writing.

She took out an unused book and started writing.

**"Smile"**

I want to see that smile  
>That I haven't seen in a long while<br>Your smile is to die for  
>What are you being shy for?<br>Don't you cry, it'll be alright  
>Just hang on tight<br>Just smile  
>Smile like you used to<br>Be the old you  
>Innocent and radiant<br>True and brilliant  
>You used to be so resilient<br>You would smile through almost anything  
>No matter the pain it would bring<br>Be the old you  
>Be true with everything you do<br>No matter where you'll be  
>You'll always see<br>That you were once me

Then she closed the book and smiled. Writing the poem was so relaxing, it made her feel less stressed. She didn't care whether or not it made any sense to anyone else, it was meaningful to her.

Speaking of poems, Amu felt like she had forgotten something. Something important…

Amu's eyes flew open. "Shit! I didn't get back the book!"

**TSUKIYOMI RESIDENCE**

Ikuto put the book down. He smiled. "She's so forgetful." He said to himself.

But he didn't want to give back the book. Nope. He will keep it, until the time has come where he actually gets bored with it.

But of course, we know that time will never come.

**Suki-chan: **Well, that's all for now. I hope you guys like this. BTW, the poems are **not mine**. They're **Moona-chan's**. **Everything** in this story **is copyrighted**. **No stealing!** LOTS OF LOVE, Suki-chan.


	3. The Game of Cat and Mouse

**Moona-chan:** Back! Sorry for my absence! **Suki-chan will be gone for awhile**, but I'm here for the next update! I hope you all enjoy! We **don't own anything** besides the plot and my poems/stories.

**!*Warning about language in this chapter*!**

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

Chapter Three: **The Game of Cat and Mouse**

_Let the games begin._

**Amu POV**

I was mad. Really, _really_ mad. I can't even think of a correct term to tell you how angry I was. Vexed? No. Much worse. I was fuming in rage, upset that I had forgotten about my book of poems so easily. How could I have forgotten? That book is my _life_! It has all of my feelings, all of my obsessions, _everything_.

"Ugh!" I groaned out in frustration, hearing my bedroom door being slammed open by a certain little "_princess_".

"Onee-chan!" she beamed, eyes sparkling, "Ami wants to go pway dollies wif onee-chan!"

I rolled my eyes at her poor grammar. I can't wait until she starts trying to learn English.

"No, Ami, I'm busy," I moaned, falling back onto my bed, pulling a pink pillow over my face, "Now go away."

I heard Ami whine and slam my door, running to her room. Great, she's going to pout and whine all night long now. Isn't life perfect?

I sighed and went back to thinking about my book, and that stupid pervert.

_What was his name again?_

Either way, that Blue Pervert is a thieving cat.

He must be reading all of my emotions right now, silently figuring me out.. watching from the hidden shadows in which my eye cannot see.

See? Look what happens when I don't have that book? My imagination runs wild, my mind slowly slipping into temporary insanity.

_Alright, I'm exaggerating._

I need that book.

And I need it _now._

**Ikuto POV**

I went through Pinky's stuff again. Her writing makes her seem so lonely; forgotten almost. It's as if someone replaced her. She wants to be independent, but she's addicted to the feeling of help. I feel bad for her.

Whoa, hold on now Ikuto.

This is an elementary kid. Get her out of your head, and think of more important matters.

_But what else was so much more important that figuring her out?_

I looked back down at the book, seeing a peculiar poem.

"**Childhood Dream"**

When I was little, I was so care free  
>I didn't know how cruel the world could be<br>I used to dream about going to Neverland  
>Or meeting Jack Skellington in Halloween Town or Christmas Land<br>But yet I couldn't stand  
>That there was that helping hand<br>I wanted to go myself  
>I would put every book on that shelf<br>All. By. Myself.  
>I wanted that crown<br>No matter how much I was put down  
>I wouldn't be like Cinderella, I would set myself free<br>My knight in shining armor would be me  
>I soon came to see<br>That no matter where I'd be  
>My hero would always be me<br>I used to dream of being a Lost Boy  
>Always holding onto my Jack toy<br>I just didn't want to have to be the baby  
>And then, just maybe<br>I would be noticed

She seemed so desperate to make this sound right to other people. I didn't even get it.. I didn't get what she was trying to get through. Was she trying to explain how desperate she was to be independent and strong?

_I could feel the loneliness emanating from the ink splattered page._

I _need _to understand why she's so lonely, and what she's going through.

And I need to know _now._

**Normal POV**

As their souls quieted,

Not quite satisfied with how the end of the day turned out.

One yearning to learn more,

The other wanting people to know less.

As one slept,

The other wept.

One needing to figure out the mystery,

The other needing to keep it hidden.

The common game,

Of Cat and Mouse,

Has just begun.

The question is

Who will win?

~***Next Morning***~

**Amu POV**

I was woken up my Mother and my oh-so-lovely sister Ami this morning. I moaned as my little sister yelled in my ear, chanting "Onee-chan, onee-chan! Time to get up!" My Mother told Ami to get off of the bed, and shook me lightly, trying to get me up.

I groaned and got up, pushing everyone away from me.

_Get off._

I ignored every word I heard, grabbing my uniform.

_Shut up._

I walked into the bathroom, still being pestered by my family.

_Go away._

I lazily stripped my clothes, knowing there was no time to shower. I dressed into my freshly cleaned school uniform, doing what I do every day, the same style. I decide to be even lazier and I leave my hair down, combing it a bit, and slipping two X clips in. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, not looking at my reflection.

As soon as I walked out of the bathroom, I'm being pestered again about responsibility.. like I'm the only one? Pin the blame on me, Mom? Have _you_ heard of responsibility?

_Try it._

I get all of my stuff together, missing that one book. I frown and sling my book bag around my shoulder, proceeding down the stairs, and towards the door, grabbing my lunch and only an apple for breakfast. I slip on my shoes, ready to leave.

"Don't be late. And don't do anything stupid or wrong."

_Fuck you._

~***At School***~

I greet my friends like a normal day, concealing Miss Cool N' Spicy until she's fully charged, and ready to be released. I smile and have small talk with the girls, silently praying that I'd get my notebook back today.

I soon hear girls drooling over Hotori Tadase, Prince of the Guardians. Most of my friends were actually in that sort of "Student Council" thing with him.

Dreamy sighing.

The way his platinum blonde hair gleamed in the sunlight, and his eyes- oh, his eyes!- how they glimmered with anticipation and confidence. He was stunning, I wasn't. I sighed and decided to stop my fantasizing, walking on to homeroom.

It's going to be a _long_ day.

~***End of School***~

I was exhausted, ready to pass out on the warm pavement.

That was until I ran into _him_.

I gasped. He looked.

"_You_!"

"Oh, you."

We had talked at the same time. I was outraged and relieved, he was calm and cool.

"I want it back."

"Want what?"

_Why are the pretty ones always so dumb?_

"You damn well know what I want back."

"Sorry, sweetheart, I don't have it with me."

He poked my nose, but then flicked my forehead.

"Ouch! You pervert! I want it back!"

I had yelled.

_He was so_

He smirked.

_Damn __**beautiful**__._

And then he shook his head.

_But __annoying__._

"No can do, kiddo. Not done."

I fumed. He seems to always use small talk. while my mind went black.

_I __**hate**__ him_

He chuckled a bit.

_But I __**love**__ it._

"Please! I need it!"

I was broken,

_Temporarily insane_

Without that book and with

_Killer imagination._

"Under one condition."

I listened to the honey-velvet voice, my attention caught.

_His voice was as luscious as chocolate_

I listened. "What is it?"

_I __loved__ it_

He smirked.

_I __**needed**__ it._

"Let me inside. Let me get close to you."

_I __**craved**__ it._

"I'll change your mind, your view, about the world."

_I'm nothing without this haunting voice._

"Let me get lost in you."

_Shit._

**Moona-chan:** I hope you liked it! This is kind of how Amu feels towards all of this. **She craves Ikuto's voice**, but you'll figure out why later probably, if I explain. Well, who wouldn't melt from his voice, huh? I _had_ to compare it to chocolate, something he loves most. ;) Well, **review please!**

**Signed with Love,**

xXxPoisonedAngelxXx


	4. Reality

**Moona-chan:** Hello, readers! As you can see, **Suki-chan has not returned yet**. **I've been holding this off for a bit**, but I might as well update now. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**We only own** the **plot lines** and **poems**!

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

Chapter Four: **Reality**

Amu POV

I tossed and turned in my bed, not quite comfortable enough for sleep. My eyes were wide open, not even close to being weighed by sleep in the slightest. I sighed and rolled onto my stomach, resting my chin on the pink fluffy pillow, my brows furrowing.

I couldn't stop thinking about

_Him_

The Blue Haired Pervert's condition.

I couldn't follow through with that, right? For all I know he could be some rapist. I shook my head, rolling back onto my back, staring at the dark ceiling. It was night time, and very dark outside. I was nowhere near sleep.

_What time is it?_

I glanced at my clock, seeing that it was past midnight. I sighed and groaned in frustration.

"Why can't I sleep?" I yelled into my pillow after rolling over once again.

I need my book back, but his deal was just . . .

_Perfect_

Unreasonable.

All I want is my privacy. He needs to mind his own business . . .

_I can't take this anymore!_

I screamed into my pillow again, crying.

Tonight, I had fallen asleep crying.

As I cried, I thought of _him_.

Him and my beloved book.

**Ikuto POV**

I sat in my room, about to go to sleep. I skimmed through the book of poems, finding a random one that caught my attention.

"**Reality"**

Reality.  
>A place where happiness doesn't work,<br>A place where only misery functions correctly.  
>Our minds lost in the sea of anger and agony.<br>This world is filled with hurt,  
>The excruciating pain makes the body numb.<br>The world will never be what I expected.  
>Is madness what was truly intended?<br>Even if someone tells you it'll be alright,  
>You'll still wish to end your life.<br>Reality is a cruel monster born of the human's mindset,  
>Twisted and cruel.<br>We created this monster.  
>When will we be free of its evil clutches?<p>

I set the book down, thinking. Was this girl okay? I mean, she seems pretty unstable, as least mentally so. She seemed so . . . depressed.

I sighed, falling asleep, the color pink flashing in my dreams.

**~* **Next Morning** *~**

**Amu POV**

I woke up to chaos once again. Ami tore the comforting sheets off of me, my security blankets gone. I groaned as she yelled in my ear, chanting her little good morning song and bounced on my bed. Mother stood beside Ami, looking stressed and upset. She shook me.

"Amu, get up," she whispered to me. I moaned and sat up, my hair a complete mess. I sighed and got out of bed, stretching.

"Amu, do you mind if Papa and I borrow your money?" Mama asked, making me pause, "We're falling behind in bills again."

I let my arms fall limp beside my waist, my hands curled into fists. I lowered my head, gritting my teeth. I stopped myself before I yelled at her.

"Yeah, sure," I said through clenched teeth. I grabbed my uniform, and walked into the bathroom.

_No time for a shower, once again?_

I tried to turn on the water to the bath and shower.

_No luck._

No wonder Mom needed _my_ money. I sighed and slipped on my uniform quickly, tying my hair in a side ponytail. I slipped in a red X clip, and rushed out of the bathroom, grabbing all of my books. I stared at my bag for a moment or two.

_Missing something, Amu?_

Leaving without it

_Again._

I need that book back. My haven has been robbed of me. My world is spiraling downwards once again, and my escape of this cruel reality is missing; _gone_. My freedom pilfered by that stranger like a thief in the night.

_Done with the theatrics yet, Amu?_

I shook my head and slung my back pack over my shoulder, walking down the steps, grabbing my lunch and breakfast on the way to the door. I slipped on my shoes, walking out the door.

"I'm leaving!" I shouted as I began to walk out, closing the door.

_As if they care._

I walked down the road, munching on some toast, thinking to myself about the boy's offer.

I paused.

Wait.

_How come I can never remember his name?_

**~*** During School ***~**

All day long, I have daydreamed, and caught up on sleep in my classes. I sighed as lunch rolled around. As usual, I would sit with my friends, and they wouldn't detect a single problem within. Not once did they ask if I was okay today, or how much day had went. Maybe they have other things on their mind.

_Maybe they just don't care, Amu._

I wondered if they were so caught up with school work that they didn't have the courtesy or even have the thought to ask about me.

_Maybe they don't want to know, Amu._

I shook my head, and forced a smile, talking away with my friends. My life is just fine, my friends care. There's nothing to worry about, chill out.

_What a liar you are, Amu._

I kept my smile, knowing I wouldn't win. I felt my world crumbling from the inside, eating away at my heart. It hurt, but I'm strong . . . right?

_You're weak, Amu._

I watched as my friends chatted away, waving to a few passer-bys. I stared at the ground, lost in my train of thought.

That boy . . .

He was reading my emotions.

Why won't he just return them?

**~* **After School** *~  
><strong>

Once school ended, I walked around the school, looking for the blue haired boy. I gave up after thirty minutes, walking to the park close to my house. I sat on a swing, my bag resting next to it. I sighed and closed my eyes, rocking back and forth slightly on the swing, forcing the tears to stay in my tear ducts, and not on my cheeks.

"Yo."

A voice, smooth and delicate, broke my silence.

_It's him._

I looked up, not noticing the tears that had escaped against my wishes, making my cheeks feel sticky, my eyes feeling slightly heavier. I saw the blue hair through the blurriness of the threatening tears. I cursed the stupid liquid that poured down.

"You okay?"

You steal my book

_Refuse to give it back_

And you think I'm okay?

I laughed.

"Do I look okay?"

No.

You look like hell, Amu, pull yourself together.

Sapphire eyes trail down my uniform to my bag. From my bag, his eyes dart to the swing next to mine. He began to walk over.

"Don't."

He paused.

_Please._

"Leave."

He hesitated.

_Stay._

We sat in silence.

I reeked of fear and loneliness.

_Pathetic._

"You know,"

His voice pierced the silence, lessening the tension and thickness of the air.

"I understand you."

I looked up at him.

"_What?_"

His gaze found mine.

_Absolutely _

"You're lonely."

_Stunning._

"What about it?"

_He was truly _

"I understand how you feel."

_Magnificent._

I stared for a long time.

_He was _

He returned my stare.

_An amazing_

"Stop."

_**Liar.**_

"Stop what?"

_What an_

"You're a liar."

_**Idiot.**_

He stared at me.

My heart fluttered and soared.

I was a rollercoaster inside, but outside, I was ice.

"I'm not lying."

His blissful voice interrupted my thoughts.

_Chocolate_

"Real smooth."

"I'm not lying, I swear."

_Honey_

"You've got yourself in thick."

"What do you mean?"

_Velvet_

"Stop acting like you understand, like you care. As if you're a nice, warm person."

"I'm not lying to you."

_How could a thief understand?_

I ignored him.

"Give me back my book."

_My heart pounded._

"I don't have it with me."

_My stomach dropped._

"I want it back . . . I need it."

_I felt sick._

"I don't happen to have it with me at the moment."

_I wanted to cry._

"Whatever. Go away from me."

_The tears poured out._

"Give me my answer."

_My mind raced for an answer._

"I don't have one."

I heard him stand, walking in front of me.

"I'll change you, I swear, _Amu._"

He whispered in my ear, sniffing my hair for a moment before turning and leaving.

I exhaled the breath I had held for so long. I grabbed my stuff, walking home. I shivered at the chilly weather. It was probably going to rain tonight. I stared at the grey cloud, feeling empty inside.

_Wait._

I stopped in my tracks, right I was about to open my front door, my hand about to touch the knob.

_How did he know my name?_

**Moona-chan:** Well, **not my best**, but whatever. I hope you enjoyed either way, I didn't go to sleep and **it's almost 5a.m. right now as I'm writing** so . . . I'm going to end here for right now. **Please review**!

Signed with Love,

xXxPoisonedAngelxXx


	5. Drown in the Feeling

**Moona-chan: **Hello, everyone! I'm just up here to say this chapter is Suki-chan's and she's finally back! Well, stick around, and give our story a shot! Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** We only own the **plot** and **poems** ;)

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

Chapter 5: **Drown in the Feeling**

**Amu POV**

I sat on the bed, drying my wet hair after the bath.

My eyes still stung from the afternoon tears.

_"I'll change you, I swear, Amu."_

His words were still ringing in my ear. My heart thumped every time I think about it.

It was raining heavily. The wind was music in my ears. I threw the towel away and laid on my bed closing my eyes.

I wanted it. I needed it back. I _need_ my book back.

_Deep inside…  
><em>

I _need_ my book back.

_I also want him._

**~***The Next Day***~**

It was raining heavily. I walked under a small umbrella to school but it wasn't good enough for me to avoid getting wet.

I panted as I reached the hallway. People were staring at me. I lifted my chin up and walked calmly as though nothing really happened.  
><em><br>Who am I kidding?_

After changing into the spare uniform in my locker, I headed to class. Time was really slow and as usual, every subject was shit. Finally, school was over.

I had extra activities after this. I joined the Music Club because: A) I like the teacher, and, B) I love singing.

I know. I don't look like the type who actually gives a fuck about music. But really, I _love _it. Music is one thing that calms me down on a bad day.

Kanaki-sensei wasn't in school today. There would be a student from the high school next door replacing her.

My body felt a little warm. I had a slight migraine. But I guess it was temporary only. It was still raining outside.

Someone knocked on the door. The door opened and he appeared.

It was the blue haired pervert.

_"I'll change you, I swear, Amu."_

My heart thumped.

_My cheeks burned. _

Butterflies are flying in my stomach.

"I'm Ikuto, the one who played the violin the other day. Kanaki-sensei asked me to represent her. She's not feeling too well today, so I will be teaching you."

The girls gasped. Some whispered and squealed. "Oh my god! It's _him_! The hot guy from the other day!"

His eyes were searching for something and stopped on me.

_He smiled._

"Well then, I'd like to know your talents. So I would like a few students to volunteer." He said, his eyes never moving from me. My heart continued to thump.

Saaya the really noisy one raised her hand. "I will, Ikuto!" She pronounced his name in a really girlish way and not only did I shudder with disgust.

_There_ _was a stab in the heart_.

A weird feeling arose deep inside me.  
><em><br>Jealousy_

I shook that thought away. That guy– Ikuto, I think it was– was still staring at me.

_Pervert_, I mouthed at him.

His eyebrows raised and then later a smirk on his face. "Anyone else?" he asked. Some shrugged while a few girls shook their head shyly.

"Well then, how about you, Amu?" he asked. He said the two syllables in my name slowly. A-Mu.

I looked at him in shock, anger and surprise. "No." I said firmly, keeping my cool façade.

"No? But why not? Just look at… at… what's your name?" he looked at Saaya. She flipped her hair and looked straight into his eyes. "Saaya." She winked at him while he winked back.

My hands automatically turned itself into a ball of fists. My knuckles were going pale white. I bit my lip. I felt like yelling to them, "Get a room!" but I couldn't. He would think I was jealous.  
><em><br>But that was exactly how I felt._

_Stop it! _I yelled at myself mentally. What the fuck was wrong with me? I shouldn't be like this. I should be ignoring him.

"No. I'm… I'm not interested," I felt a little dizzy. Mixed feelings inside me, a mixture of anger, pain, jealousy, and sadness. I felt exhausted.

He understood. When I said no, _I meant no_. So he nodded, and I couldn't concentrate anymore. All I heard was Saaya's screeching, people applauding softly, Ikuto nodding and saying she was great but needed to improve.

Everything ended so quickly. Funny, with him here, everything seemed to be so fast. Even time was flying really quickly.

Everyone left the class. Now, there was only Ikuto and I left in the room. I was breathing hard, I noticed. He came to me. "You alright?" he asked, hand on my forehead. I leaned on his hand.

"I feel tired," I said, leaning closer and almost falling. He managed to catch me before I fell.

"Your body's warm. You should go home. I will take you home," He said in my ears. I didn't reply. I guess I sort of blacked out.

**Ikuto POV**

Hm . . . what do I do while she unconscious? I let my gaze trail to the book by the bed. I smirked and grabbed it, flipping to where I left off.

**Drown in the Feeling**

She felt so fucked up  
>So filthy<br>So empty  
>So stepped on<br>So pissed off

She was healing  
>But pain was all she was feeling<br>The emotions she's been concealing  
>Their scabs peeling<p>

She took in another line  
>The temptation was too much<p>

Her mind was fuzzy  
>She was so buzzed<br>She was high as a kite  
>She tried with all her might<br>To get back down  
>But all she could do was drown<br>Drown in the feeling  
>It wasn't too appealing<br>But she loved it  
>She craved it<br>She needed it

The ceiling spun-spun-spun  
>And this was just so much fun-fun-fun<p>

The next morning  
>She told herself<br>"Wake up! Where the hell are we?"  
>But her body wouldn't listen<br>Because when you've crashed  
>And spent time with the monster<br>You were completely and utterly trashed

I closed the book, looking over at where Amu was laying in my bed right now. Her body was really warm this afternoon. I guess it's better now.

I heard the sound of blankets rustling. Amu got up. She looked at me. "Give it back," the first thing she said.

I went closer to her and sat next to her on the bed. "Give it," she mumbled. I guess she didn't have the energy to yell or anything yet.

I shook my head. "Give me my answer and I'll give it to you." I whispered. She pulled me closer and leaned against my chest.

"Please?" she begged. I looked down at her. She was close to tears. "I need it back. I'm begging you. Return it to me."

_A single tear escaped from her eyes and rolled down to her cheeks._

I didn't reply. She lifted her head up and looked at me.

"Why?" she asked. "Why is everyone making it so hard for me? Why?" This time she yelled and grabbed my shirt tightly. She started to sob.

"Why?" she kept repeating. I tried to stop her but she started to use both her hands to hit my chest. She sobbed louder.

"Amu… shh, its okay. Stop crying." I hushed her, hugging her. She stopped hitting me and hugged me back, tighter than me.

"I'll make it easier for you. I'll make you feel the way you've wanted people to feel for you." I said softly. She looked up.

"Let me open your heart. Let me be the one to give you happiness. I will make you different. I can change you." I continued. She gripped on my shirt tighter.

Her tears were threatening to fall but I wiped them off. "I'll make sure you don't feel lonely anymore. I'll make sure, you feel…"

**Amu POV**

"I'll make sure you feel…"

He paused for a while. I looked up. His blue eyes were gazing into mine. They were making my heart melt.

"Loved," he whispered.

**Ikuto POV**

_"Loved…"_

Her eyes widened.

_A deer caught in the headlights._

"And I'll give you back the book where you can write happy poems." I gave her a small smile.

She let me go slowly. She was thinking about everything I said. Finally she looked up. "Will you promise not to hurt my feelings like every other person in my life?" she asked me. I nodded.

"Promise, you'll help me when I need it?" she asked. I nodded again.

"I promise." I said and kissed her forehead softly. Her eyes widened again and I chuckled.

She looked so…

_Cute._

Wait a minute, Ikuto. What the hell are you talking about? This is an elementary school girl. All you want to do is make her feel wanted, happy and get rid of all her sad emotions. That's all. You mustn't have anything else.  
><em><br>But what if I do?_

I shook that thought away. Then I focused on Amu. She was blushing.

"I need to go home," she mumbled.

"Sure, I'll bring you home," I said and lifted her up. She almost fell but I managed to catch her before she fell. She blushed again.

"I'm tired," she mumbled, looking away to hide her embarrassment. I chuckled again.

"Well, it's alright now. If you fall, I'll catch you," I said. She looked up and gave me a small smile.

Then the book on the table caught my attention.

"Here, as promised."

I gave her the book. She held it tightly and smiled again, this time wider.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I smiled back. She was special girl. And I'll make her feel that way.

_I'll make her know, she's special._  
><strong><br>Suki-chan:** Ah! Done! Well, I was away for a while. Exams are gone know and I can chillax and enjoy. So, I hope you guys liked this and **please review**!


	6. What Lies Beyond the Masquerade?

**Suki-chan**: I'm back peeps! Glad you enjoyed chapter 5! So enjoy chappie 6~

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

**Disclaimer:** We only own the **plot line** and **poems**

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

Chapter 6: **What Lies Beyond the Masquerade?**

**Amu POV**

**"What Lies Beyond?"**

_The sky_  
>She stared at it often<br>_The mystery_  
>Of knowing<br>_What was up there_  
>She often wondered<br>_The clouds_  
>It seemed unreal<br>_Like a canvass_  
>Painted by an artist<br>_She wanted to know_  
>What lies beyond<br>_Those fluffy clouds?_

I put the pencil down and then looked up at the clear blue sky. I inhaled the fresh air. I opened my eyes and again I saw the fluffy clouds.

"That looks like a cat," I said to myself.

"What does?" someone behind said. I was too engrossed watching the shapes in the clouds to pay attention to who it was.

"That cloud. You know, it looks like a cat to me," I said.

"You're right, now that you've mentioned it."

Then I recognized the voice. I turned around and immediately, my heart started thumping wildly.

"Ta-Ta-Tadase-kun?" I stammer out his name. He gives me his prince smile.

_Ah, so handsome~_I started swooning. Then I came back to reality.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" I ask, my 'Cool 'n' Spicy' façade coming back to me.

"I was doing my rounding when I saw you sitting here alone," He replied, still smiling, "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

Inside, I was shaking my head like a maniac.

Outside, "Sure, just don't bug me."

I slapped myself mentally.

_Why_, I thought to myself, _why must I be such a bitch?_

"Well, what were you doing before looking at the clouds? I thought I saw you holding a pen and a book?"

I blushed. I must not tell him about it. What should I say?

"It's none of your business."

I pinched myself. Why must I be like that? Why the hell can't I talk normally.

"I see. It's private?" he asks. I nod. Then we were silent for awhile.

I may appear calm, but deep inside, I don't know what to say. What do you talk about when your crush is sitting just right next to you?

"So, why are you always alone? Don't you have friends?" he asks me. I jump a little.

_My friends don't __**act**__ like friends._

"I do, but I don't really enjoy spending my time with them."

"Why not?"

_They don't __**care**__ about __**me**__._

I shrug. "I just don't want to."

He doesn't ask me anymore. Did I hurt him? Why must I always be like that? Why can't I just be me?

"I have to go. I'll see you around." I don't wait for him to reply. I just stand up and run off. I feel so bad.

_I just want to be me_. . .

**~!****AFTER SCHOOL**!~

**Normal POV**

Amu walks out herself. Her friends left her again. She walks out of the school gate.

"Hey, hey! Isn't that Hinamori Amu?"

"You mean the Cool 'n' Spicy girl?"

_No. _

_I'm not the Cool 'n' Spicy girl. _

_I'm just Amu, Hinamori Amu._

Someone grabbed her by the shoulder. Amu turned around and gasped. "Yo," Ikuto greeted.

"You scared me!" she said. He chuckled and smirked. "What do you want?" she asked him.

Recently, Ikuto and Amu have been . . . _friends_. Well, he's the one who's always looking for her. Most of the time, he appears out of nowhere and takes her by surprise.

"You know what I want."

_I rolled my eyes._

"Oh my gosh! Do you see that?"

"Do you think the both of them are a couple?"

Amu felt her cheeks redden while Ikuto smirked.

He went closer to Amu. "Why don't we show them who we are?" he wraps an arm around her waist and Amu blushes even more.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He continues to smirk. "We're a 'couple', right Amu?" he winks.

Just then, they heard a shriek. Saaya looked at the both of them, her face was red with anger. Amu quickly moved away from Ikuto.

"I'd move away if I were you. She can be a real pain in the ass."

Saaya walked towards them. Her breasts– which were _way _too big for a twelve year old, Amu was so sure they were fake– bounced up and down as she walked. Amu felt like puking.

"Ikuto, are you really Hinamori's boyfriend?" she crossed her arms. Ikuto grins.

"You've got it all wrong. We're not really together. We're just–"

"Lovers."

Amu felt like slapping this idiot. Did he not know what the consequences were if he made this slut in front of them mad?

Ikuto grinned. Saaya went red with rage. She glared at Amu.

"N-No! We're not! He's just joking!" Amu tried to convince Saaya. But Saaya wouldn't buy it. Saaya stormed off with her four followers.

"Well, that went well." Ikuto said.

Amu looked at him. "No it didn't! You just made matters _worse_!"

Ikuto walked off, but Amu followed. "Were you listening to me?" she asked him. They ended up in the park where they always hang out.

"Hand it over," Ikuto said. Amu rolled her eyes again. She gives the book to him. He flips to page where she had just written the new poem during lunch break.

"You were spying on me again, weren't you?" Amu asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "Why do you think so?"

The wind blew and a few dry leaves fell from the trees.

"Because you know that I wrote a new poem."

He smiled, "Well, what a weird poem."

She pouted. "Hey, the clouds looked really fluffy and cute."

He chuckles. "How childish."

She pouts again.

"It's not like you're that matured. You act like a five year old too!"

He laughs again. He returned the book to her.

"By the way, wanna know what else I saw just know? I saw a girl with pink hair talking to a blonde boy." He smirked.

Amu blushed. "T-That was Tadase-kun…" she mumbled.

"Oh, your crush."

She nodded. He seemed to know everything about her.

"How do you know about that?"

Ikuto takes the book from her. He turns to the last page. Written in cursive words was, "I LOVE TADASE-KUN!"

An embarrassed Amu grabs the book back.

"I should have erased it." she muttered.

"So, what's with the frown just now?" Ikuto asked.

Amu looks up. She plays with time.

Two butterflies were chasing each other. The sun shone brightly.

"When you first saw me, what was your first impression?" Amu asked.

Ikuto, who was standing just now, sat close to Amu. He put his hands behind him.

"At first, I thought you were a weird, perverted elementary school girl," he grinned.

Amu sighed. "Anything else?" Amu asked.

"Yes, when you first spoke, I thought you were a very rude."

"They're all the same," she muttered.

"What?" Ikuto asked, looking at her.

Amu rested her chin on her knees. "When I first moved here, everyone thought I was some really cool girl. That's where I got the nickname Cool 'n' Spicy. It really annoys me. They think I live in some big mansion with my famous photographer Dad and my top journalist for a very famous magazine Mum, and a pretty little sister, and we have afternoon teas every day, and we have butlers, and servants and…"

She stops and inhales deeply. "Well, you get the point. I'm some really cool girl and they all respect me. But…"

"That's not you." He finished for her. She sighs again and nods. "I hate that…" Amu says.

They were silent for awhile. The two butterflies just now flew around them.

Amu smiled, just a small one. "Nobody has ever seen me smile, because if I did, then it'll spoil my cool reputation."

"Then they'll regret it," Ikuto says, looking at her. He lifted her chin up. "They'll regret for not seeing you smile."

Amu smiled. He knew just what to say to make her feel good.

"Smiles are beautiful right?" she asks. He nods.

Amu closed her eyes. Her skin tingled as the wind blew. She smiled again.

"So, tell me about that blonde kid." Ikuto suddenly said.

Amu blushed. "What do you mean?"

Amu fidgeted. He smirked. "You know, that crush of yours."

Amu blushed even more. "I liked Tadase-kun on that very first day I saw him…"

"I remembered thinking to myself, 'He must be an angel sent from Heaven.'" She giggled, thinking about how stupid it sounded. Ikuto laughed too. "When I first came to this school, he was assigned to show me around the school. I was acting like a real jerk. I didn't say 'Hi!' or anything. I just nodded. My heart kept thumping. It was so weird. And when he accidentally touched my hand, AH! It was a dream come true~" Amu put her hands on both sides of her cheeks as she squealed with delight.

"But you know what I did when he said sorry?" Amu asked Ikuto, who was laughing while Amu was squealing.

"What did you say?" Ikuto asked.

"I said, 'Your hand is as soft as a baby. Is that normal for a guy?'"

Ikuto laughed. No one has ever made him laugh so hard before.

_No one but Amu._

Amu was different.

_She made him different. _

She brought fun to his boring life.

"No one, and I mean _no one _knows about this. You say one thing about it, I will kill you!" Amu says, giving him the I-dare-you look. He shrugs.

"Amu?"

"Yeah?" Amu looked up.

He doesn't say anything for awhile.

"Do you share your secrets with anyone else?"

Amu sighs. "No… who can I share it with? There's no one I trust."

"Then do you trust me?" he asks.

Amu thought about it. She didn't know Ikuto that much. They just met about a few weeks ago.

Yet…

He knew her.

_He understood her._

Amu looks up.

"Yeah."

He smiles.

The evening sky was red. "It's getting late. We should get going," Amu said.

Ikuto stood up. He picked his violin case. "Ikuto?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you." She smiles.  
><em><br>A smile that only he could see._

A smile only _he _knew about.

"For what?" he asks.

"For being the only person I can trust."

Her voice was soft, unlike her normal cool voice.

_A voice only for him to hear_.  
><strong><br>HINAMORI RESIDENCE**

"**Masquerade" **

It's as if I'm wearing a mask  
>To cover up all of the feelings<br>All of my emotions  
>I'm trying not to get hurt<br>But when that mask disappears throughout the night  
>Everything comes cashing down<br>My world falls apart  
>I'm desperate to fight through this<br>So I put that mask right back on in the morning  
>It's the first thing I do<br>I just can't do this anymore  
>I want to escape from all of the trouble<br>The hurt  
>The sorrow<br>Everything

I dance the night away  
>With tears and screams<br>I dance with the finest people  
>Their whispers in my ear<br>They tell me all about  
>How their life was stolen from them<br>Stolen by their own hands  
>I share my own stories<br>Lost in the masquerade  
>Lost in the swarm of feelings<br>Where is the exit?

I feel my mask fading  
>What am I to do?<br>A mask-less girl  
>Dancing the night away<br>I feel the tears  
>I feel the pain<br>It's happened again  
>My mask has fallen<br>My mask had broken  
>And here I am<br>Dancing the night away  
>The voices growing louder<br>Pushing me towards the door  
>My masquerade is finally over<br>Now it's time to face the night  
>All alone<p>

Amu turned the light off. She put her head on the pillow.

"Goodnight, world. May tomorrow be a better day…"

**Suki-chan**: I'm done. Next chapter will be Moona-chan. **Please review!**


	7. Dancing in the Dark

**Moona-chan:** Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait! **My laptop** is currently... **broken**... so I'm using my Mum's. Well, it's great to be back. I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
>= )<p>

**Faded Poems and Broken Violins  
>Disclaimer: <strong>We only own the plot and the poems.  
><strong>Chapter Seven: <strong>Dancing in the Dark

**Amu POV  
><strong>  
>I woke up to silence. It was eerie... no screaming in my ear, no sister jumping on the bed, not even a whispering Mother or Father. I got up and out of bed, looking around. I was scared, where is everyone? Did something happen?<p>

"Mama? Papa?" I called out, walking out of my room. I walked all around the house, seeing no one. There was a note on the refrigerator, addressed to me. I took it into my hands, reading it very carefully.

_Amu-chan,  
>I'm sorry if we startled you. Papa, Ami, and I are at Grandma's. We'll be out shopping by the time you get home after school. Be careful. Be back around 6 o'clock or so.<br>Love,  
>Mama<br>P.S- Your lunch is in the refrigerator._

I put the paper on the counter. Why should I bother to go to school today?

Who would care?

Who would _notice_?

It's not like I'm important there. No friends, only rumors and false presumptions.

I sighed and walked up to my room, searching for my clothes. Might as well go anyways.

I took a quick shower and toweled off my wet hair. I quickly changed and got my books together. The time showed as 6:12a.m.

_Crap._

I was a bit earlier than I thought.

I walked downstairs, grabbing my lunch out of the refrigerator, and heading towards the door.

I slipped on my shoes, and slid open the door, prepared to walk outside into the weak sunshine.

As I took the first step outside, my hand lingered at the door, my head turned towards the house.

I took in a sharp breath and my words barely escaped in a whisper.

"I'm leaving now."

**~!**At School**!~**

I arrived early, no one was around. I sat on the grass, just by the walkway entrance into the school. I hugged my knees.

_I wish Ikuto was here._

Maybe I wouldn't be so bored if he was actually here.

_Then again..  
><em>  
>All he does is cause trouble.<p>

_Ugh, Amu, stop thinking about that pervert!_

"Yo," a voice greeted, interrupting my thoughts, "What's up, perverted kid?"

My cheeks flared red and I shot a glare at the Blue Pervert.

_The Number One pedophile in my book._

"The sky is up. Now go away."

"Ouch, I'm hurt," Ikuto said, sitting next to me, pouting. I scooted away from him.

"All you do is cause trouble." I shot another glare, thinking about the Saaya incident.

"That's not completely true..."

_**Liar.**_

"Yes it is. Now go to high school before Saaya arrives."

_Stop it._

"What's wrong, Amu?"

_Stop hurting him.._

"Nothing. Now, please, go before you get yourself into trouble."

_**You're not being fair, Amu.**_

"Amu... if you need to talk, just tell me."

He rested his head on top of mine for a moment.  
>I felt a slight breeze go by, but it was warm, and the sun felt warmer... unless it's just because of the blood rushing to my cheeks..<p>

He kissed my forehead and walked away without a word.

"Weird cat-eared cosplay-kid."

**#*During School*#**

The whole day passed by fairly slow. Every teacher had their lecture, and as usual, I cared less. All I could think about was Ikuto, and my book of poems.

_Why is __**he**__ so special?_

Of all people, the perverted-pedophile decides to get into my life, my mind, and my poems.

Honestly, couldn't I have chosen Tadase-kun?

He sparkled in my mind, he was so charming, bright, and smart. Ikuto is just... well, he's perverted, mysterious, handsome, and- wait. What?

Amu.

Did you just call Ikuto... _handsome?_

Why did I... why is he on my mind?

I'm confused.. I like Tadase but.. question is...

_How do I feel about Ikuto?_

**~!**After School**!~**

As usual, Ikuto was outside waiting for me. I avoided him, and more importantly, his eyes.

To him

_I'm an open book._

He can read me

_Figure me out._

He can get through my outer character

_He can get beyond the walls._

"Yo."

"Hi."

"You okay?" Ikuto asked, walking by my side. I looked at the ground.

_Why Ikuto?_

"Peachy."

_Why do you make me feel this way?_

"Amu. Don't lie to me. I hate it when you lie."

_Why did you..._

"I'm not lying."

_Make me want to.._

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

_Want to __**love **__you?_

"I'm not avoiding you. We're talking right now, aren't we?"

We walked in the direction of my house.

_Why did you set up my heart_

"Then look me in the eye."

I dared not to look up.

_In such a way that you could_

"Amu! Look at me!" He walked in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, hands on my shoulders.

_Easily __**break**__ it?_

I looked up.

His eyes widened.

I tried to force back the tears.

_Oh, dear God... He __**knows... **_He _knows_!

I pushed past him and ran. I ran as fast as my legs could take me. I couldn't tell if he knew everything, but he knows something now. He knows I'm hurt. Just not _how _or _why. _And I'll keep it that way._  
><em>

I reached my house within minutes. Panting, I fumbled with the door, trying be granted access inside. As soon as it opened, I squeezed through, and slammed it shut, and locked it.

I panted and sobbed, choking on air. Thick tears ran down my cheeks, I could feel them. As soon as I reached my room, I walked in and slammed the door shut, sitting in front of it. I pulled out my book of poems, and decided to write.

**Dancing in the Dark  
><strong>You know those times of life  
>When things spin out of control?<br>It's like dancing a masquerade  
>Without your mask<br>Everyone can see who you are  
>You're vulnerable<br>But you can't see them  
>They are superior<br>It's like dancing in the dark  
>Afraid<br>Lonely  
>Cold<br>Scared  
>All of the feelings make you glance behind your shoulder<br>Voices pulsing through your skull  
>Lacing your thoughts with their twisted words<br>They stitch themselves in tightly  
>Feeding off of the fear<br>They whisper their propositions  
>The darkness concealing their sly lies<br>Dancing in the dark  
>A dangerous game<br>Played by one  
>One at a time<br>Few get out alive  
>Do you dare<br>To play the game?

I sniffled, and closed the book, settling my pen down as well. I cried and cried, my head on the hard floor. I soon fell asleep, exhausted.

_Tears._

_It's kind of funny how  
>They easily exhaust you..<em>

**Ikuto POV**

After Amu ran away, I rushed home, scared.

What was wrong with her? She seemed so... pained. Did something happen? I swear, whoever hurt her, I'll kill them..

I set my violin case on my bed, opening the case. Papers were scattered everywhere. I sighed. Ever since I met Amu... I wrote a melody. She was inspiration.

I picked up my latest music sheet and smirked.

Just thinking about the look on Pinky's face after listening to these... I bet it would be beet red and surprised.

I chuckled.

One day, my love...

One day.

**Moona-chan: **Well, that's it for chapter seven! **Sorry** for it being so... rushed and corny. **Please review**! :D


	8. Scraps to Masterpiece

**Moona-chan: **Hello! I'm so terribly sorry for the long wait. I hope this never happens again. Well, I'm here to update for Suki-chan, she's busy for this week. Please accept my apology... I hope you enjoy this newest chapter! D:

**Faded Poems and Broken Violins  
>Disclaimer: <strong>We only own the plot and poems.**  
>Chapter Eight: <strong>Scraps to Masterpiece

**Amu POV**

I awoke to an eerie silence once more. I sat up, weakly standing to my feet. I yawned and stretched my arms up.

_What day is it?_

My eyes found their way to my calendar. It's Saturday? Already? Time surely does go by fast..

I sighed and ruffled my hair, not feeling myself. Walking downstairs, I found yet another note in the kitchen. I scanned through it, scoffing.

_'Amu-chan,_

Papa, Ami and I are visiting your sick aunt in Europe for a few days. We're so sorry for not taking you with us.. but you wouldn't come out of your room, so we thought it was best to leave you here instead. Sorry, Amu-chan.

Lots of love,

Mama.

P.S- Papa says no boys in the house.. friends are allowed over, just don't do anything stupid. Be good.

I rolled my eyes. I can have friends over? What friends? The Guardians? Don't make me laugh. They haven't spoken to me in _weeks._

Why does my family always leave me here alone?

I sighed and strolled back upstairs to my room, plopping down on the bed.

_No school for me._

Pulling the covers over my body, I curled up into a ball, sniffling.

_No Ikuto for me._

I think it would be best to just stay home today.. I'm not feeling too well anyways, especially after what had happened with Ikuto..

_Another sob escaped._

Ikuto.. you really must hate me now.

_Dried tears from yesterday could be felt on my cheeks.  
><em>  
>Slipping my head under the covers, I cried. My chest hurt so much..<p>

_Why is no one here for me... when I need them the most?_

**Ikuto POV**

Walking around the entire campus of Seiyo Elementary, I searched and searched for Amu. She was no where to be found, and I was getting worried. She always came to school early.. why wasn't she in today? Was it because of how upset she was yesterday?

Sighing, I walked to Seiyo's High School area. I guess I'll have to check up on her later.. heh. I can't wait to see the look on her face..

I smirked. This is going to be a very entertaining day.

**~!****During Class****!~**

I sighed for the millionth time in my Math class. Someone next to me poked my shoulder, getting close to my ear.

"Ne, Ikuto, you thinking about that little kid, Amu?" the person whispered in my ear, waking me from my trance, "She's a tough one, I tell ya. That whole Cool N' Spicy thing is pretty cute though."

The boy chuckled a little, going back to his desk. I glared at him, making him turn away from me.

"Don't talk about her like that."

He put his hands up defensively, laughing again, "She's all yours, man."

"What are you talking about? We're just friends.." I choked out, feeling my face turn a bit darker for a moment.

"I see how you look at her," the boy joked again, "Don't lie, you've got feelings for that kid. Whether you like it or not, you like her, and I'm pretty sure she likes you too."

I stared at him in disbelief. "That's not funny.."

"I'm not kidding! She's got a thing for you, ya know?" he started off again, whispering, "Like, she trusts you and stuff.. but she gets this look in her eyes when you're around. She looks hurt, as if she's keeping a secret, but it also holds something warm inside.."

I stared at my desk, debating if what he said was true. I looked back over to the desk next to mine, seeing no one there. Blinking several times, I scanned the room for messy black hair and golden eyes. Nothing.

That was.. my imagination..?

Sighing once more, I looked outside, thinking. How _do _I feel about Amu? I can't like her, can I? There's a five year difference here, I have to consider that.. but.. I..

I'm in love with Hinamori Amu.

**Amu POV  
><strong>  
>It's only about 3:30p.m. and I'm already writing in my book. More and more poems just keep spewing out. Tears stained the pages as I wrote, blotching some ink, but every word was readable. I closed my book, turning to the other side, pulling the covers up to my nose. When I breathed, it was overly warm and a bit uncomfortable, but I didn't care. I wanted to curl up and die.<p>

_Tap tap_

I stayed still. Must be my imagination.. I'm just going to go back to sleep..

_Tap-tap tap-tap_

I sighed and drifted into sleep for a moment before I heard my balcony door slid open. I pulled the covers all the way over my head, causing my book to fall to the floor. There was rustling of paper by me.. my heart skipped a beat when the person sat on my bed and started pulling down the covers. I pretended to be asleep, scared to find out who was in my room.

"Oh, Amu," the voice whispered. I recognized the voice right away. It was Ikuto! Why is he in my room though?

Moving the hair from my face, I heard him chuckle softly.

"Why do you have to be so damn beautiful?"

I tried to control my blush.

_Wait.. what?_

Ikuto thinks that I'm..._ pretty_?

A finger traced over my lips for a moment, another faint chuckle could be heard.

"If you saw this, you'd probably call me a pervert, ne?" Ikuto questioned, the back of his hand gently touching my cheek, "I guess I should have realized it earlier.. I hurt you. I didn't mean to... I just.. I'm in love with you, Hinamori Amu. And I always will be."

I felt my eyes stinging with tears. I finally opened them, slowly, and looked up at Ikuto's shocked face. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"Ikuto.. are you.. joking?" I choked out, sitting up to look at him. He suddenly smiled and hugged me tightly.

"Why would I lie to you, Amu?" he whispered in my ear, stroking my hair.

"I-Ikuto.." I whispered, sobs suddenly irrupting the silence. I buried my face into his neck, crying the hardest I've ever cried.

I recited the poem I wrote in my head, just for him..

**"Scraps to Masterpiece"**

Every day  
>It's the same routine<br>Not a single change  
>Nothing <em>ever<em> changes  
>Not here<br>Not in this world of mine

My mind is set  
>I won't ever change<br>I will always be the same  
>No matter how much pain I bare<p>

Plain and boring  
>I'm so predictable<br>It's a pity  
>I am no longer the chaotic child I once was<p>

Adventure no longer exists  
>Pain is everywhere<br>A happy life is only imaginary

Laughter is an outrage  
>Sobs are expected<br>Tears are memories  
>Smiles don't exist<p>

This life is unbearable  
>Why am I here?<br>What is this place?  
>Is this some sick game?<br>Am I just imagining this?

I'm the only one who notices this darkness inside  
>It's pitch black in my mind<br>This mist clouding my vision  
>It's a thick fog that won't wear away<br>This void in my heart  
>It grows stronger each day<p>

Someone save me  
>Rescue my heart<br>Buy back the soul I once sold  
>Reassemble this damaged heart<br>Cure these wild emotions  
>Revive me<p>

I am nothing but scraps  
>Meaningless and thrown away<br>Why can't I be made into a masterpiece?  
>Is there too little material?<br>Is there too little potential?

Change my mind  
>Change <em>me<em>  
>Make me anew<br>Create my new agenda  
>Give me another world<br>Anything but this dullness  
>Anything besides this pain<br>Make me forget who I was before  
><em>Make me into something more<em>

This is so unreal... it's like a fairy tale. Me, a twelve year old child, holding onto a seventeen year old boy who's confessing his love to me..

I can't believe it.

_I'm in love with Tsukiyomi Ikuto.._

**Moona-chan: **Ack, I'm finally done chapter eight! I hope you guys liked it.. it was very rushed and not planned out very well. I'll make it up to you guys sometime! Well, please review. :)

Signed with Love,

xXxPoisonedAngelxX


	9. Addiction

**Suki-chan:** Sorry peeps! I haven't been typing for so long. I had a busy month but now I'm back and I'm here to update this story!:D LOVE, Suki-chan

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

**~!Warning: **Strong Language**!~**

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing besides the plot and poems

**Chapter Nine: **Addiction

He said he's in love with me.

I keep thinking about that day, when Ikuto confessed to me. I just.. _"I'm in love with you, Hinamori Amu. And I always will be."  
><em>  
>My heart is thumping again.. I bet my cheeks are beet red now.<p>

I'm having lunch break with the Guardians. As usual, they're talking about something I don't know and I'm just listening like a doll.

"Do you wanna go there after school?"

"Sure! It sounds so fun!"

"How about you? Wanna come along?"

"I'll think about it."

_I want to go._

I stood up and walked off. I can't sit down there any longer. If only I could hide these freaking tears.

"Stupid friends," I muttered. I'm better off without them. I have a better friend. I have Ikuto.

Ikuto..

Oh God! Every time! Every time I think about him, I just think about love. My love for him, his love for me.

Ikuto.

I love him.

I love that smile of his whenever he sees me.

Not that typical smirk of his (though I admit, I kind of like it) but that really kind smile I love. The smile I need when I'm upset.

I sat down under a tree, legs crossed.

_He's the only person who understands. _

He knows everything about me.

I closed my eyes.

"This is nice…" I said to myself.

Wait a minute…

My eyes flew open. Ikuto knows me so well, but what do I know about him?

_Zero percent._

I gulped.

_What the hell,_ I thought. _There has to be something I know about his family, about his life, anything!_

Nothing.

_Nil._

**Nada.**

I fell backwards.

Oh. My. **God**!

I hardly know a thing about him and I say I'm in love with him?

_Hinamori Amu!_

You are one problematic girl!

Frustrated, I started hitting my head; hard too.

"Hinamori-san?"

"Ack!" I stopped hitting myself. I saw Tadase-kun walking towards me.

"Are you alright? Did I scare you?" he asked as I fell back again. I sat up.

"Erm, I'm fine," I replied coolly.

"I saw you hitting yourself and… well, I got worried. Maybe you have a problem?" he asked. I blushed.

_Oh God! He's so __**cute**__! _

I can't believe it! I'm actually talking to the prince!

"Well, I'm okay. I think there was an insect and it wouldn't go away so I hit my head to chase it off."

_Yeah right, more like I hit my head because I'm a dumbass._

Suddenly, Tadase-kun stated laughing. Aw, so _cute_!

_My heart's thumping wildly out of control again. _

Ah, prince Tadase! Do you know how deep my crush is for you?

Wait. Hold on a second.

What the hell did I just say?

I can't believe I forgot that I had a crush on Tadase-kun! And I claim to be in love with Ikuto?

_Idiot._

Bloody hell. I'm in love with two people.

_**What?**_

"Err, I have to go. I have to, um.. help a teacher with something. See you around." I lied quickly before running off.

Oh God! Can this day get any better?

**NORMAL POV  
><strong>  
><em>Walk… walk… walk…<em>

Amu told herself that as people stare at her.  
><em><br>Look down… look down… look down…_

She looks at the ground, walking.

_Stop… stop… stop…_

She pauses and looks up, after seeing a pair of black shoes in front of her. Immediately, she turns bright red.

"I-Ikuto?"

He greets her with a kiss on her forehead. "Hello, my princess."

Onlookers clasped their hands.

"Aw! That's so _sweet_!"

"The Cool 'n' Spicy student has a _boyfriend_!"

"Look how handsome he is.. I'm so jealous!"

"Is that a high school student?"

Amu's face remained flushed as Ikuto lifted her chin so that she would look only at him.

"How are you today?" he asked, touching her lips gently with his finger.

Amu looked away. "I'm okay…" she mumbled.

He let go of her chin and took hold of her hand.

"I wanna take you somewhere."

Amu looked up at him, clearly confused.

"Eh? Where to?" she asks.

Sending her a smirk, he replies.

"Just follow me."

And so she did. She allowed him to hold her hand to guide her. She felt his hand squeeze slowly sometimes and she could feel herself squeezing back.

Finally, when they stopped, Ikuto let go of Amu's hand– to her dismay– and told her to wait. She wasn't sure where she was. All she knew was that this place was filled with trees, and she could hear the birds chirping.

Ikuto came back with something in his hands.

_A violin. _

She looked at him with wide eyes.

"You're going to play here?" she asks him.

He nodded. "I know, weird, but I just had this song in my head for a while now. And I want you to hear it," he said with a smile. The smile that made Amu's heart melt at the sight of it.. butterflies fluttered crazily in her stomach.

He started playing. It was beautiful, melodramatic and romantic. Amu closed her eyes. It was as though she could feel his feelings listening to the song he played.

When he stopped, he looked at Amu.

"This song… you inspired me to write this song."

Amu felt her heart thump. No wonder… no wonder she felt as though it was a love message for her.

"I-Ikuto…" she whispered. He kneeled to his knees and gently pushed a lock of hair from her face.

"Amu… I'm in love with you. I think about you every day. You're everything to me." he went closer to her and kissed her lips slowly.

He hesitated a little while, in case she wanted him to stop. But she didn't. She accepted his kiss, cautiously and gently kissing him back. They continued to kiss passionately.

When they finally stopped, Amu was completely out of breath. She had never kissed someone so hard. Hell, she hadn't even really kissed someone before! He smiled and leaned his forehead against her.

"Amu, will you be my girlfriend?"

When he said that, Amu's world froze.

_Be his.. girlfriend? _

Part of her wanted to say yes, but there was another telling her the opposite.

_But why?_

"Amu?" Ikuto looked at her, confused and worried.

Amu didn't say anything. She continued to think for an answer.

_Yes.._

_Or no? _

She loved him, so she should say yes.

But she liked Tadase too.

She was confused.. so confused.

"I… I…" she didn't know what to say.

"Amu… you don't have to give me an answer now, you know," Ikuto said, stroking her flushed cheeks.

"H-Huh?"

"You don't have to rush about telling me yes or no. I'll give you some time to think about it."

Amu let out a relieved sigh.

_Thank God. _

For a moment there, she really had a headache about it.

"But Amu…"

"Yes?" she looked up.

"I really hope you'll be my girl," he said before giving her another kiss.

That night, Amu sat near her study table and took out her poem book.

"I love him? I don't love him?" she kept asking herself. She took her pen and started to write a poem, not sure of what to write. She was so confused, so cold, so.. _scared. _

"**Addiction"**

I'm confused  
>My world<br>It's spiraling out of control  
>One big masquerade<br>The nicest people want to dance  
>But I object<br>And they leave me alone  
>For the rest of the night<br>And that one person comes along  
>And changes my point of view<br>About everything  
>It's hard to keep up<br>But I slowly learn  
>How to dance<br>How to move  
>In the way they do<p>

But  
>He's got me wrapped around his finger<br>Entangled in his web  
>I fell right into this trap<br>I never knew  
>I was dancing with the Devil himself<br>I sold my soul  
>My heart<br>My everything  
>Just to him<br>And he took it with a smirk  
>Knowing one day<br>I would go to someone else  
>But I would be forever bound to him<br>And you can't buy back  
>What you sell to the Devil himself<p>

I'm tied  
>Entangled<br>_Stuck_

I was too addicted  
>Too scared<br>To let go  
>To become free<br>I fell for him  
>I loved it<p>

And it wasn't healthy  
>It was like living<br>Off of sweets  
>They taste delicious<br>But one day  
>You have to stop<br>Or you get fat  
>And you get health problems<br>It turned sour

It was just like the cocaine  
>It makes you feel so high up<br>Like you're in the clouds  
>You're in heaven<br>And it feels so good  
>And then<br>You try to stop  
>You go through a terrible withdrawal<br>And it hurts  
>It does<br>And when you come crashing down  
>After you've done so much<br>You feel so  
>Fucked up<p>

I try so hard  
>But no one will help me<br>It's like no one's listening  
>No one can hear me<br>They laugh  
>And kick dirt in my face<br>It's a terrible feeling

I was rejected  
>Pushed away<br>From everything

Society  
>Laughs upon my face<br>I am a disgrace  
>He too<br>Will one day join in  
>With that horrible laughter<br>With everyone else  
>He'll make me cry<br>When I have that dream  
>Of him laughing<br>Kicking dirt at me  
>Throwing stones<br>I won't be able to cope  
>Not with those images<br>Haunting my dreams  
>For eternity<p>

Honestly  
>I want to leave<br>I need to  
>But<br>I am bound  
>With chains of hopelessness<br>Tying me down  
>I tell myself<br>Every day  
>That I'm free<br>I don't belong to him  
>I'm my own person<br>I'm over him  
>But you know what?<br>_I'm not._

I feel as there's a pit  
>In my stomach<br>I feel sick  
>I can't breathe<br>It hurts  
>My heart<br>It feels like it's being torn out  
>Slowly<br>The void  
>It grows<br>Deeper  
>And larger<br>Consuming all the material  
>Of my life<p>

I did this to myself  
>And you know what?<br>I can't even look myself  
>In the mirror anymore<br>I see a girl  
>But one that is<br>Broken  
>Homeless<br>Scared  
>Lost<br>Hopeless

I don't want to lie anymore  
>I honestly don't<br>I just  
>I'm so scared<br>It's as if  
>I'm in a huge game<br>Of Hide and Seek  
>But he's not looking anymore<br>And I'm stuck here  
>In the dark<br>Wondering where everyone is  
>Scared<br>Not knowing the game ended

The love he gave me  
>It's a part of me<br>I can't sell  
>Not even to him<br>The Devil himself  
>Wouldn't take it back<br>Because he knows  
>How much<br>It hurts me  
>How much<br>I _try_  
>To forget.<br>But he knows  
>I will forever be bound<br>Held back by these chains.

**Moona-chan: **Well, looks like Suki-chan is back guys! Please review! (Oh yeah, sorry Suki-chan, I have to change up the end of your part because I couldn't think up a poem that would fit it D: )


	10. Here to Stay

**Moona-chan:** Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait! I've been so busy at school, I have homework every night. : ( In almost every subject too! Anyways, let's get this show on the road! :D

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins  
><strong>_**Disclaimer: **We own nothing besides the plot and the poems  
><strong>Chapter Ten: <strong>Here to Stay

Amu POV

Setting down my pen, I lost the willpower to stay up all night, writing and doing homework.

It's Tuesday night. Already.

I remember after Ikuto confessed to me for the first time, just three days ago, I fell asleep in his arms.. I miss the warmth and comfort, to be perfectly honest. I woke up the next morning and he was gone. It was like a dream. That Sunday, all I could do was sit at home and think of him..

And here I am, thinking of him. _Again._

Sighing, I stood to my feet, walking over to my bed. I plopped down on it, snuggling under the thick pink quilt. I turned my body so that I was facing the door to my room.

_Silent tears poured down my cheeks._

I closed my eyes, hoping and praying that the tears would go away.

_They were just so painful._

I couldn't help but think of Tadase-kun and Ikuto..

_How do I feel about them?_

I know that I love Ikuto but.. poor Tadase-kun.. how do I feel about him?

He has no feelings towards me, right? So why should I even bother worrying about it?

"Whatever.." I muttered to myself, my voice cracking. I pulled the covers all the way up to my nose and fell into a deep, painful sleep, thinking of Ikuto and Tadase-kun.

After hours of tossing and turning, morning rolled around, and no one was home. Once more, I was alone.. like always. I rubbed my eyes against my sleeve and sneezed, my nose running. I quickly ran into the bathroom, grabbing various tissues and pressing them against my nose. I stared in the mirror. Boy, was I a mess. Pink hair tangled and sticking up in various directions, honey golden eyes glazed over with sleep, and cheeks painted an unfamiliar pink; and it surely wasn't a healthy pink either.

..A cold?

I'm.. sick?

Well.. this is new.. I haven't been sick in a long time.

Whatever. Less school, less drama. At least I can stay in bed and think about things. There was a sudden ringing throughout the house. I ran down the stairs at to the kitchen, quickly grabbing the house phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Amu-chan?" a familiar voice echoed.

"Rima-chan?"

"Yes, are you okay Amu? You've been missing a lot of school lately.." she mumbled over the voice, seeming concerned. I faintly smiled. So, Rima cared..

"I'm fine. I promise I'll be back in by tomorrow, alright?"

A faint okay was heard over the phone. I smiled, face burning in an unfamiliar way. It didn't feel like a blush, like when I was around Ikuto either.

"I-I'll talk to you later Rima-chan, I'm feeling a bit lightheaded-"

Before Rima had the chance to argue, I hung up, catching myself on the counter. I dropped the phone to the floor, making the batteries come out and go onto the floor. I weakly pushed myself so I was holding myself up. I panted, feeling weak. My knees wobbled and I dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. And then, suddenly, my world went black.

**Normal POV**

Rima stared at her phone with a frown planted on her sweet little face. She snapped it shut, shoving it into her bag.

"Stupid Amu-chan.." she whispered to herself, obviously worried about the pink haired girl. The Guardians walked up to Rima, chatting away.

"Is Amu-chi absent again?" Yaya asked loudly. Rima sent a small glare, which remained unnoticed to the younger student.

"Jeez, again?" Kukai asked, rolling his eyes, "That girl needs to stay in school."

Out of nowhere, Ikuto walked up next to the group, a small smirk plastered to his face.

"Someone mention Amu?" he asked, eyes gleaming with excitement. Tadase sent him a fierce glare but Ikuto paid no mind to the child. For he was too mature to be involved in this child's play.

"Yeah, Amu-chi's out again!" Yaya whined, making a pouting face. Ikuto's smirk was long gone, the excited washed out of his eyes.

"What?" he asked, clearly worried. Rima took a good look at him. She gritted her teeth. She was going to tell him.. someone needed to check up on Amu, and it may as well be him, since he was the closest to her.

A bell rang, and the Guardians immediately left to go find their classes. As Ikuto was about to head over to his high school building, Rima grabbed a firm hold on his shirt. He looked down, confused.

"What is it?"

"I called Amu today," she mumbled, catching Ikuto's attention, "We briefly talked about her being missing a lot. She randomly hung up on me, talking about being light headed. Check up on her after school, got it?" Rima's voice was harsh, her eyes glaring at him. He nodded and she let go, rushing to her classes as well.

"Amu.. promise me you'll be alright.." he whispered to himself, rushing to his building.

During Ikuto's time at school, he had one thing, and one thing only on his mind: _Amu._

'That girl really worries me..'

he thought to himself, looking out of a window. Every class he went to, all he could think about was Amu.

_Amu, Amu, Amu._

Every class was too long for him. He felt like he was being tortured. All he wanted was to make sure she was alright.

_'Damn it Amu, why do you worry me like this?' _he wondered to himself, waiting for the final bell to ring. Five mutes passed and it finally rang. He was the first one out. He ran outside and all the way to Amu's house. He impatiently knocked on the door, receiving no answer.

"Amu!" he loudly called. He banged his fist on the door one more time. Cursing, he put his hand on the knob, slowly turning it. To his surprise, and luck, it was unlocked.

Walking inside, he looked around.

"Amu?" he called once more. Walking down the hallway and into the living room, he called out again. Finally reaching the kitchen, he found her.

"Amu!" he yelled, kneeling to the floor where she was. Her face was covered by her bangs and her arm. He pulled her into his arms, getting a good look at her face. It was a very unfamiliar and unhealthy shade of red. She was panting, and her face was covered in sweat. Ikuto felt his heart breaking. He had never seen her so.. broken.

He quickly pulled her into his arms and rushed to her room. He set her on the bed, pulling the covers over her body. Running to the bathroom, he grabbed a white towel and poured cold water onto it. He proceeded to rush back to Amu's room and lay it on top of her forehead. Ikuto looked around her house for some cold medicine, he finally found it in the bathroom. Grabbing the bottle, he rushed back to Amu and sat on her bed, lifting her head up. With two pills in his hands, he managed to get them into her mouth. Forcing her to swallow them, he watched as her face twisted in pain.

She coughed twice before they finally went down. Ikuto sighed in relief and laid her back down, putting the cold towel on her forehead. He got up off of the bed and ruffled his hair, looking around the room. Noticing a familiar black and white notebook, he walked over to it and peered down at the ink splattered paper. He grabbed it and quickly scanned the words.

Violet eyes went wide.

Angrily, he slammed the book down on the desk and he rushed over to Amu's side, picking up one of her arms. He lifted up the long sleeve, revealing dozens of cuts, scars, and red marks. He glared at her face.

"Why, Amu?" he questioned, voice cracking, "Why would you do this to yourself?"

How hadn't he noticed it before? She always wore long sleeved around him; around everyone for that matter.

He looked back over to the book, the words repeating in his head like a broken record.

**"Here to Stay"**

Pull up my sleeves  
>See the pattern of these cuts?<p>

The word love written in vain  
>These cuts numb the pain<p>

Just fill my head with lies  
>Don't you just despise<br>The way I say  
>Everything will be okay?<p>

I've shed all of my tears  
>They've worn away throughout the years<p>

The razor blade  
>Is the only friend I've made<p>

Drowning in my sorrows  
>I'll pull out that familiar bloodied blade<p>

Wrists stained red  
>I've lost track of how much they've bled<p>

Blood stained wrists always covered with a thin sleeve  
>Thoughts going back to a scene you'd never believe<p>

You'll never understand  
>What I've done to myself<br>With my own hand

Pull up my sleeves  
>See the pattern of these cuts?<p>

The word hope written for my gain  
>These cuts ease away the pain<p>

Too much of a coward  
>To take my own life<p>

..I'm here to stay

**Moona-chan:** Gah, sorry for my fail chapter! I'm really tired but I just _had _to finish this for you guys! I had to make up for the long wait! Anyways, here it is, my angsty little story. Review please!


	11. Insanity is Calling

**Moona-chan:** Hello everyone! Just here to update Suki-chan's part for you all! I hope you enjoy, I bet she worked really hard on this! (not that she didn't work hard on the other parts but.. yeah xD) Enjoy~

**_Faded Poems and Broken Violins_**

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing besides the plot and poems

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

**Chapter 11:** Insanity is Calling

Amu was 99% sure that she was dreaming. That 1 percent was unsure because… her dream felt real.

Amu was looking at her younger self. The small Amu had her pink hair tied in two pigtails. She was sitting in class alone, looking outside the window.

Amu knew that feeling. It was exactly how she felt in kindergarten. She had tried to blend in with others, but they just couldn't understand her. They thought she was too mature to play with them.

The little pink haired girl kept staring out. Amu went over to join that little girl. She felt the pain coming back; a mixture of anger, sadness, disappointment and loneliness inside her.

The school bell rang, notifying that the school day was over. And also the last day in kindergarten for Amu. Unlike the other kids who were asking each other which elementary school they'll be going to, Amu walked out of the room. The older Amu followed.

Her parents were there. They had on their usual fake smile. Her dad carried her up, kissed her forehead and told her that he missed her. Amu knew that was fake too. They were just saying that because they felt it was their responsibility as parents to tell that to your daughter.

Amu wanted to shout "Shut up!" in his face, but she didn't have the courage to do that. So she just kept quiet and sat at the back of the car. Unlike all the other kids, she didn't tell her parents that stupid kid who digs his nose had pushed her down and her knee had bled. She didn't say that the stuck up girl invited everyone in the kindergarten to her princess themed birthday party except her.

Suddenly, Amu was in another place. She was wearing her elementary uniform. It was her first day of school again. Amu was determined to look for friends. She had practiced smiling in front of the mirror during the holidays.

However, when she arrived at school, the courage to smile and say hello was missing. So, she was left out again. Her determination was gone. She was once again that girl who just sat by the window looking out while her classmates were playing.

Amu couldn't bear the pain anymore. Honey golden eyes shot open.

She'd do anything just to get out from that horrible memory.

Her vision was blurring at first; tears welling in her eyes quickly. She noticed that there was a bucket with a white towel inside it.

And then, her eyes looked around the room. By her study table was a blue haired boy, eyes closed and breathing slowly.

"Ikuto?" she asked softly. On her table was her notebook. The page where she had written the poem 'Here to Stay' was open. Amu bit her lip. That means he had read it already.

Amu lifted her sleeves. There were scars and red marks all over her arm.

Amu had attempted suicide countless times. But after cutting herself a little, she's stop and quickly treat the cut. She was too scared. She was a coward.

Amu saw a small movement. Ikuto moved his head a little and slowly opened his blue eyes. He looked at Amu.

"Oh, you're awake," was his first sentence. Amu bit her lower lip.

"How long have you been here?" she asked.

He shrugged. "A couple of hours, maybe?"

He looked at her. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked, showing her the poem he last read. Amu gulped.

"It's just a poem," she said softly.

He lifted her arms and pulled her sleeves down, exposing the cuts. Tears welled up in Amu's eyes once more.

"Why?" Ikuto asked, looking into her eyes. She tried to look away but he pulled her chin up so that she'd be looking only at him. "Why?" he asked again.

_A single tear fell to her cheek._

"I didn't want to live anymore…" she answered. "I hate my life! I hate this world! I hate everyone!" she yelled.

"I hate all this fucking crap! It's so unfair! I've never felt loved. Even my own parents don't love me! Everyone around me thinks I'm someone that I'm not." She started to sob. She fell on her knees. "Ikuto, you don't understand. You don't know how I feel. My parents give me a fake smile every day, fake 'I love you', everything about them is fake! My friends? Please! They don't even know me and they call themselves my best friends!"

Ikuto looked at her helplessly. He lifted her chin. Her eyes were red, her cheeks red. He kissed her forehead gently, then slowly his lips trailed to her nose, then her lips. He kissed it gently at first, waiting for her to accept it.

She kissed him back and her arms wrapped around his neck. Slowly, the kiss became passionate and deeper. Amu could feel his heart thumping against hers. She didn't want it to end. She was afraid he wouldn't be there anymore when she opened her eyes.

Finally, he let go. Amu opened her eyes and he was still there, in front of her.

"You still have me," he whispered in her ears. He hugged her closer to him.

"Remember that I'm here for you," he kissed her cheeks.

Amu knew he was right. He was there with her. He had always been there when she needed him. She felt loved when she was with him.

She _loved_ him.

_Amu cuddled closer._

"I want you to know… I love you." He whispered again.

_Amu closed her eyes._

_If this is a dream,_ she thought to herself, _please don't let it end here_.

Slowly, Amu dozed off again, Ikuto stroking her hair gently.

"I love you very much," he said again.

**NIGHT**

Amu was on her bed, and Ikuto was nowhere in sight. Placed on the table was a note, addressed to her.

_'Don't do anything stupid. I don't want to lose you because I love you.'_

Amu smiled. She knew he had written this.

She loved him. Really, really loved him.

As for Tadase... Tadase was also someone she cared for.

Tadase and Ikuto.

_Which one is the right one for her?_

**THE NEXT MORNING**

"Ah, you're back, Amu-chan!" Rima was the first to greet her.

Amu nodded. "Sorry for making you worried…" she mumbled. "I'm feeling better now."

"So, what's the story?" Kukai asked. Amu shrugged.

"I guess I was exhausted so I had fever…" she said.

They gave a simple "Oh" and then continued with their conversations before she came.

_'I bet you all had a wonderful time without me.'_

Amu left, as usual, without any of them noticing.

**CLASS**

"So, to look for this answer, we need to apply this formula…" droned the teacher. Amu wasn't paying any attention as usual. She was looking out the window.

She stretched her arms a little. Her sleeves went up and revealed a slight red mark. Amu pulled the sleeves down. She didn't want anyone to know what she had done to herself.

The school bell rang, waking her up from her daydream. She was the first to stand up and leave class. That didn't stop her from being able to hear anything her classmates were saying.

"She's so rude."

"I know, I mean, can't she just wait until the teacher leaves or something?"

"Ah, poor sensei."

Amu bit her lip to avoid from turning around to glare at the three girls. She hated it when they said things about her. It's not that she didn't want to let him leave first or something. It was because there was nothing to do if she chose to wait behind. It's not like she'll be talking to her classmates about going shopping or anything.

Suddenly, she felt nauseous. The room was swaying around her. Everyone around her was blurring.

"She's such a bitch."

She opened her eyes.

"So lifeless."

"No wonder she's always alone."

"I'd hate to be her."

They were talking about her. They were talking about her, in front of her. Their voices echoed in her ears.

She couldn't take it anymore. She collapsed on the floor, losing all her senses. The words continued to echo inside her.

**A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER**

Amu was awake, but she couldn't get her eyes open. She could hear people talking. She caught words like "tired", "fainted", "rest", and "Thanks, Doctor".

She could feel someone sitting next to her. That person stroked her face, sighed, then put his hand on hers. It was a familiar touch.

"Amu… what am I gonna do about you?" he asked. Instantly, Amu recognized his voice. She struggled to open her eyes.

"I-Ikuto?" she asked, eyes still closed.

"Who?"

Suddenly, it wasn't Ikuto's voice anymore. It was softer than Ikuto's. "Hinamori-san? Are you alright?"

Amu opened her eyes slowly. "Ta-Tadase-kun?" Amu realized it wasn't Ikuto. So, just now, it was a dream when Ikuto stroked her face?

"Oh… Tadase-kun, I thought you were someone else. Sorry…" she mumbled, her head pounding.

He smiled. "It's okay. According to the doctor, you were too tired, so you should get home and get some rest."

Amu nodded. She was about to leave but Tadase grabbed her arm. "You have to do some explaining first."

"Huh?" Amu was confused. Tadase lifted her sleeves. Amu gasped.

"Why do you have all this marks?" Tadase asked. Amu looked away.

"It's nothing. It's none of your business." Amu said coldly, pulling her hand away from him.

She got down from the bed and opened the door. "And please… don't mention this to anyone else…" she said softly.

She closed the door. Then, she ran out of the quiet school. She started sobbing her heart out.

_She wanted to go home._

_She wanted to hide in her room._

_She wanted to **yell**._

When she reached home, she was glad no one was there. She ran up to her room and covered her face in her pillow.

When her sobs became softer, she looked up and found her notebook on her bed with her favorite pen.

So she took it and did what she did best. Write a poem.

**"Insanity is Calling"**

Whispers itching in my head  
><em>I can't do this anymore<em>

Voices blending, mixing into each other  
><em>I can't take this anymore<em>

No sleep  
>No food<br>No nothing

I can't function  
><em>What is this world without you?<em>

I can't understand  
><em>Is there such a place without you?<em>

No writing  
>No drawing<br>No nothing

Insanity is knocking on my door  
><em>Will I answer?<em>

Insanity wants you to come out and play  
><em>Will I play?<em>

No music  
>No fun<br>No nothing

I'm growing even more disturbed  
><em>Insanity is calling<em>

I'm growing even more lost  
><em>Failure is calling<em>

No talking  
>No staring<br>No nothing

Searching for the impossible  
><em>Your love is impossible<em>

Searching for the hope  
><em>Your love is hope<em>

No hope  
>No faith<br>No nothing

Why am I still around?  
><em>You still don't care<em>

Why am I still trying?  
><em>You still don't love me<em>

No trying  
>No crying<br>No nothing

Why am I still waiting?  
><em>Your words won't ever be for me<em>

Why am I still believing?  
><em>Your words are always lies<em>

No waiting  
>No dreaming<br>No nothing

I'm going to stop the pain  
><em>Make it stop<em>

I'm going to slip into darkness  
><em>Make it all wear away<em>

No living  
>No breathing<br>No.. nothing.

**Moona-chan:** Well, thank you so much for reading everyone! Please review! Every review counts, it keeps me going on this story. Thank you once again~


	12. Just Another Broken Heart

**Moona-chan: **Ack, I am sooo sorry guys! I promised to update quickly, yet I got sidetracked with cosplay and school work! Please forgive me! Oh yes, um, Suki-chan won't be writing for awhile, I'm not sure how long she'll be gone, but for now you'll just have to bare with me and read just my chapters for now. Yet again, I am so sorry! I promise I'll try and stay more focused on this!

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing besides the plot and poems

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

**Chapter 12: **Just Another Broken Heart**  
><strong>

Amu POV

After writing my poem, I sighed, plopping down onto my bed. Arms spread out, legs dangling off the bed, I let my eyes trail to the ceiling. I began counting cracks.

_1.. __2.. __3..__ 4.._

There was a sudden knock on my balcony door. My eyes trailed over very slowly, knowing who would be there. Finding familiar blue hair, I looked back up at the ceiling.

"It's open," I called to him. The door squeaked open, and then quickly squeaked back closed again. I heard Ikuto's violin case being settled down on the floor, footsteps trailing to where I was laying down.

"Yo."

Violet eyes hovered above my own for a moment. No blush arose, no heart hammering against my chest.

"Hi."

Ikuto sat down next to me, the bed being lowered.

"So," he said, "Are you alright?" I cast him a confused gaze.

"Of course, why?"

_Lies._

"Are you sure?"

_Questions._

"Yes. I'm absolutely fine, Ikuto," I looked him right in the eyes as I lied to him. How could I be such a horrible person? How could I lie to him? After all he's done for me. He doesn't deserve everything I put him through. Why can't he understand that?

"I know you're lying to me, Amu," Ikuto said coldly, "And I don't like lies."

He pulled me up to his level, holding my arms to my sides. I stared at him with a blank expression.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked me, searching my eyes desperately. I held up my facade, my mask covering everything.

_I've__ gotten __better__ at__ holding__ up__ my__ mask,__ even __around __Ikuto._

"Nothing," I replied in a monotone voice, making sure I showed no expression.

Ikuto's facial expression was angry; he was definitely mad. Upset, for sure.

"Stop lying to me, Amu!" he yelled in my face.

I made sure I didn't flinch. My facade held up.

"I'm not lying."

Ikuto's eyes were pained.

_I__ can't __take __this.._

"What's wrong with you?" he yelled again, desperate for an answer.

And that's when I snapped.

"What's wrong with me?" I repeated the question. I laughed halfheartedly.

"What's wrong with _you_?" I asked this time, taking Ikuto by surprise, "Why do you even bother to try and help? Why should you even care?"

"Amu, I-"

Cutting him off, I continued, narrowing my eyes.

"_You__ don't __know__ me_."

Ikuto's eyes widened, "Amu, what are you-"

I cut him off once more.

"That's right, we don't even hardly know each other, yet you claim you love me?" I laughed once again, "What bullshit. You'll just set up my heart, just to break it like everyone else in this cruel world does. Is this a hobby of yours? Picking up little girls, promising you'll help, and just profess a fake love? Do they believe you like I did? Because you surely do put on one hell of a show, I tell you!"

Ikuto's shocked expression held up.

"Why do you try and help me? Mommy and daddy issues eating away at your heart?"

Ikuto lowered his head, bangs covering his eyes.

_Stop__ it!_

"You know what? I'm not falling for your bullshit anymore. Find someone else to toy with, because I'm _done._"

_Stop __hurting __him!_

Ikuto let go of my shoulders. I continued to stare at him with a blank expression, my poker face on.

"Amu," Ikuto began, voice strong, "You're right. Well, half right at least. You don't know me, but _I_ know you."

He laughed.

"That doesn't seem to stop me from loving you," he continued, "And I know you're hurting inside, aren't you? I know you well enough to know this is your way of protecting yourself. Isn't it? Aren't I correct?"

Before I could snap back, he continued on.

"I don't go around professing love to other girls though, that's where you're wrong. I've never loved someone before. Up until now, that is. And I won't let your words get to me. I know your faults, and I love you either way. I told you I was here to stay, didn't I? I promised to show you how to live; how to love."

_No __emotion,__ Amu,__ keep__ it __cool,__ my__ inner__ self__ told __me. __I __was __screaming __in __my __head, __telling __it __how__ this __was __all __it's __fault._

"As for the family issues.." I felt a pain in my heart at the sound of his lowered voice, "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

I tried my best to keep the tears from falling, but I felt the emotions spewing out. My bottom lip quivered and I felt my eyes blur. I backed up a little, covering my mouth with my hands. I trembled.

"I.. I.." I stuttered, causing Ikuto to look up at me with a surprised facial expression. His eyes were wide. I felt the tears fall.

"I.." I began again, "Oh God, Ikuto, I'm so sorry!"

Ikuto's expression softened, yet his eyes looked pained. He hugged me, one hand on the back of my head, the other wrapped firmly around my shoulder.

"It's okay, Amu.. I understand," he whispered to me. I cried harder and hugged him tightly.

After what felt like hours, we parted, and he said his goodbyes, leaving me to my lonely room. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and laid down on my bed, not bothering to change or do any homework.

Closing my eyes, I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, I got ready like a usual day, expecting to find my parents and sister home. I was greeted with an empty house.

As I was putting on my school uniform, I heard the house phone ring. I rushed downstairs and picked it up.

"Hello?" I asked in the sweetest voice I could muster.

"Amu-chan!" I heard my mother yell over the other line, "Since this is very long distance, we can't talk for long."

"What is it Mama?" I asked, confused.

"You're Father, sister and I won't be back for another few days.. I'm so sorry sweetie."

I felt my face go back to it's usual blank state.

"Oh.. it's alright Mama."

"We love you very much, Amu-chan! I promise we'll be back soon!"

"I love you too."

When the line went dead, I hung up the phone and trudged up the steps, hand on the railing. I stopped into the bathroom and glanced at myself in the mirror.

My eyes were a dull golden color, not it's usual honey like hue. My face was as pale as ever, and my lips in a straight line basically. I narrowed my eyes in anger.

_Disgusting._

I angrily slammed my fist on the mirror, shattering it.

_I'm__ a__ disgrace._

Ignoring my bleeding hand, I walked downstairs and started to trash my house.

How could they just _leave _me here to rot?

What if I was _kidnapped_ while they were gone?

What if I decided to just _run_ away?

What if I was _murdered_?

Would they even _care_?

_No.._

I felt tears stream down my face as I finally felt the pain in my hand. I decided to wrap it with an old tee shirt that I left on the couch. I grabbed my notebook and pen out of my bag and began to write, not caring if the tears or blood stained the paper.

_I__ hoped __my__ hatred __towards __my __family __stained __it. __Just __like __it __stained __my __heart._

**"Just**** Another**** Broken**** Heart"**

It's just another love story  
>Just another broken heart<p>

Something so damaged  
>Beyond repair<p>

Wishing I could wash away the pain  
>Erase the memories<p>

Praying I could be different  
>Hoping I could be someone else<p>

Is a happy ending  
>Too much to ask for?<p>

Hiding in this compressed box  
>That I called a room<p>

Wondering if I'll be saved  
>Knowing it won't happen<p>

Such a lonely heart  
>Dreaming of goals that are beyond impossible<p>

I whisper "I'm okay"  
>But aren't those words lost?<p>

Empty promises  
>Hoping to see something more in the mirror<p>

Playing words with a smile  
>Aching inside<p>

I just want this pain to subside  
>I just want this self hate to stop<p>

Holding my breath  
>Failing to find a reason to continue on<p>

Missing all of the love  
>That once was mine<p>

Jagged lines all around my wrists  
>Trailing up to my arms<p>

A broken rag doll laying on the bed  
>Eyes dull, heart lifeless<p>

I don't care anymore  
>I can't care anymore<p>

Wasting my breath  
>Wasting my life<p>

Looking behind me  
>I see the friends I gave up<p>

Looking behind me  
>I see the dreams I held on to<p>

Wounds flashing red  
>Pouring out<p>

Remembering how much of a puppet I was  
>Chained down, bound to you<p>

You treated me  
>As a prized possession<p>

Threw me away  
>As soon as you were done<p>

Did everything mean so little to you?  
>Did you find some one else?<p>

I want to laugh  
>I want to smile<p>

But everything was stolen from me  
>Every emotion<p>

But you know what?  
>I'm going to make you feel my pain<p>

I'm going to make you suffer  
>Just as I did<p>

_I'm__ going __to__ hold__ my __breath_

I'm not your puppet anymore  
>You can't pull the invisible strings<p>

Not while I'm gone  
>Not while I'm no longer breathing<p>

It's just another love story  
>Just another broken heart<p>

It's just another suicide  
>Just another life lost..<p>

Another person  
>Driven insane<p>

By the pain  
>Of reality<p>

By the self hate  
>Directed towards cutting<p>

And by the temporary love  
>Of someone blind to the fact they hurt<p>

**Moona-chan:** Ugh, fail chapter. D: Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this, it was rushed to the extreme because I just _had_ to update today! The poem doesn't really fit, but hey, when does it ever? :D Please review~


	13. Invisible Strings

**Moona-chan:** Ack, sorry once more everyone! School is taking up all of my free time. Anyways, I'm here, back for more! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! (By the way, the music I used in here, it was all for fun! ;D Listen to the songs for a better effect! Goodbye isn't a personal favorite, but oh well~)

_**Faded**__** Poems**__** and**__** Broken**__** Violins  
><strong>_**Disclaimer: **We own nothing besides the plot and poems  
><strong>~!Warning :<strong>**Strong ****Language!~  
>Chapter<strong>** 13:** Invisible Strings

Amu POV

After trashing my house and writing, I decided to turn on the television and pop in some random sappy romance movie. I was in the mood to have an excuse to eat tons of chocolate ice cream. Skipping school might not have been the best of my ideas, but hell, who cares anymore? Surely not me; nor my family.

Slamming the book shut, I got up to go get the chocolate flavored ice cream. As soon as my hand pulled it out, I slammed the door angrily. I grabbed a spoon from the drawer, deciding to just eat the whole tub alone.

Plopping onto the couch, I grabbed the remote to turn up the volume.

It was going to be a _long _day.

**Ikuto**** POV**

I walked around Amu's school campus for a half hour, and there was no sign of my favorite pinkette. Is it possible that she's sick again? Or is she just skipping out on school? I searched for her short blonde friend, Rima. I finally spotted the girl with Amu's other "friends".

"Yo."

"Oh, hey there Tsukiyomi-san," a few greeted. Rima's eyes narrowed at me slightly. I stared at her blankly.

"No Amu?" I questioned her simply. For a split second, worry flashed in her brown eyes. Shaking her head, she frowned slightly.

"No sign of her."

The short girl pulled out a red cell phone and dialed in a number.

_Amu's__ house __number?_

Frowning once more, she snapped it shut, her eyes averting back to me. They were narrowed again.

"She canceled my call."

_Damn __it__ Amu._

I nodded and ignored the glances from other members of her posse. Seeing classmates of mine pass by, I decided to join into their group, knowing I could do nothing about Amu's situation at the moment. For now, I would have to attend classes and visit her at the end of the day.

_Please__ be __safe,__ Amu.._

**Amu**** POV**

As I laid on the couch, eating ice cream, I began thinking of things I could do with my day.

_Dress-up?_

_Poetry?_

_Music?_

_Singing?_

What _can_ I do to pass the time? I went with my first option- dress up. Silly, yes. Fun? Even more so. I ran up into my room and dug through my nicest clothes. I threw on a long sleeved shirt that didn't cover my shoulders and the sleeves reached passed my knuckles and the end of the shirt reached my butt; it was a red and black stripped shirt. Next I threw on a plain black skirt that reached only about mid thigh. Finally, I grabbed black six inch heels that showed maybe one or two toes that covered the rest of my foot at reached my ankle. It zipped up, the zipper reaching up to my ankle.

After getting dressed, I walked into the bathroom, not even making the slightest stumble to my surprise. Ignoring my wrapped hand, I grabbed my eyeliner and some of my old strawberry lipgloss, and applied as usual. Smiling at my appearance, I slipped an X clip into my hair, but I left it down.

_I __look..__ different.._

I smiled. I didn't care what I looked like; whether it be a harlot or not; I was finally someone other than myself. And for that, I was grateful.

Struting around the house, I decided to turn on some American made music. Who knows; it might be fun singing words in English! I was fairly skilled in the language after studying some songs. I turned on Goodbye by Kristina Debarge and turned the volume up loud to the point I was belting out the lyrics. And hell, I sounded good.

_"Am __I __supposed __to __put __my __life __on __hold  
>Because <em>_you __don't__ know __how__ to__ act  
>And<em>_ you __don't __know__ where__ your __life __is __going  
>Am <em>_I__ supposed__ to__ be __torn__ apart,__ broken__hearted,__ in __a__ corner__ crying?  
>Pardon <em>_me __if __I__ don't __show__ it  
>I<em>_ don't__ care __if__ I __never__ see __you __again  
>I'll<em>_ be __alright  
>Take <em>_this__ final __piece __of__ advice __and__ get__ yourself__ together,  
>But<em>_ either__ way __baby,__ I'm__ gone_

I'm

_so __over __it,__ I've __been __there __and__ back  
>Changed<em>_ all __my __numbers __and__ just __in __case__ you're __wondering  
>I<em>_ got__ that__ new  
>I'm<em>_ a__ single__ girl__ swag  
>Got <em>_me__ with __my __girls__ and__ we're__ singin'__ it__ sing!  
>Na<em>_na__na__na, hey__ na__na__na__na__ hey  
>Hey <em>_hey __hey  
>Goodbye<br>Na__na__na__na, __na__na__na__na  
>Hey <em>_hey __hey  
>Goodbye<em>

Cut

_my__ hair __'cuz__ it__ reminded__ me __of__ you  
>I <em>_know__ you __like __the __long__ 'do,  
>Had<em>_ to __switch __my __attitude __up  
>Thinkin'<em>_ of__ changing__ up __how __I__ ride, __No__ more_

_On the passenger side  
>Too bad you miss out on the way that I drive it<br>I don't care if I never see you again  
>I'll be alright<br>Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,  
>But either way baby, I'm gone<em>

I'm so over it, I've been there and back  
>Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering<br>I got that new  
>I'm a single girl swag<br>Got me with my girls and we're singin' it sing!  
>Na na na na, na na na na<br>Hey hey hey  
>Goodbye<br>Na na na na,hey na na na na hey  
>Hey hey hey<br>Goodbye

Hey hey, hey hey hey  
>Goodbye<p>

I'm so over it, I've been there and back  
>Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering<br>I got that new  
>I'm a single girl swag<br>Got me with my girls and we're singin' it sing!  
>Na na na na,hey na na na na hey<br>Hey hey hey  
>Goodbye<br>Na na na na,hey na na na na hey  
>Hey hey hey<br>Goodbye

Goodbye  
>Na na na na,hey na na na na hey<br>Hey hey hey  
>Goodbye<br>Na na na na,hey na na na na hey  
>Hey hey hey<br>Goodbye  
>Goodbye<br>Goodbye"

I panted as the song Untouched by The Veronicas came on. I smiled. This song was one of the first I learned.

_"I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah  
>lalalala alalala<em>

I can't  
>La, la, la, la, la, la<br>I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want  
>Don't stop<br>Give me give me give me what you got got  
>Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more<br>Don't even talk about the consequence  
>Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me<br>And I don't give a damn what they say, or what they think think  
>Cause you're the only one who's on my mind<br>I'll never ever let you leave... me  
>I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)<p>

I feel so untouched  
>And I want you so much<br>That I just can't resist you  
>It's not enough to say that I miss you<br>I feel so untouched right now  
>Need you so much somehow<br>I can't forget you  
>Been goin' crazy from the moment I met you<p>

Untouched un  
>And I need you so much<p>

See you, breathe you, I want to be you  
>Alalala alalala<br>You can take take t-t-take take time time  
>To live live the way you gotta gotta live your life<br>Give me give me give me all of you you  
>Don't be scared<br>I'll see you through the lonely nights of wanting more more more  
>Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right<br>'Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around  
>To answer all the questions left behind<br>And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today  
>You've still got me to hold you up up<br>And I will never let you down (down)

I feel so untouched  
>And I want you so much<br>That I just can't resist you  
>It's not enough to say that I miss you<br>I feel so untouched right now  
>Need you so much somehow<br>I can't forget you  
>Been goin' crazy from the moment I met you<p>

Untouched un, untouched, untouched un, untouched  
>Untouched un alalala alalala, untouched un alalala alalala<p>

I feel so untouched  
>And I want you so much<br>That I just can't resist you  
>It's not enough to say that I miss you<br>I feel so untouched right now  
>Need you so much somehow<br>I can't forget you  
>Been goin' crazy from the moment I met you<p>

I feel so untouched  
>And I want you so much<br>That I just can't resist you  
>It's not enough to say that I miss you<br>I feel so untouched right now  
>Need you so much somehow<br>I can't forget you  
>Been goin' crazy from the moment I met you<p>

Untouched un, untouched, untouched un"

Next came on Funhouse by P!nk. I grinned and danced along, singing along.

_Today was going to be entertaining after all._

**Ikuto ****POV**

As I sat in class, my fingers lightly tapped the desk, my other hand supporting my chin. Legs crossed, I looked out the window, thoughts trailing to a certain pink haired female.

_Is__ she __alright?  
><em>  
>By the time the bell rung for my lunch break, my mind was filled with questions.<p>

_Why__ does __she __make __me __feel __this __way?_

All I could think of was her petite frame shaking from so many tears and sobs.. I shook my head.

_No,__ Ikuto, __that's __impossible. __Amu __is __perfectly __fine.._

Right?

I shook my head again. Of course she is. Amu is perfectly fine, I trust her. She won't do anything stupid.

_No__ cutting, __no__ crying,__ no__ nothing._

I frowned to myself and didn't touch my food. I laid on the ground, hands behind my head as I stared up in the sky. I sighed to myself, remembering that this way the spot Amu and I usually ate lunch together at.

_I__ should__ check__ on __her.._

No, I have to finish school today, I don't want to have to serve detention again for skipping out early to visit Amu.

As I waited for my last bell to ring, I stared at the clock, waiting for it to strike three. When it did, I was the first to rush out of the door. Taking a short cut to Amu's house I finally reached her balcony, and to my surprise, no one was in the room. I slid the door open; she really needs to start locking that; and made my way downstairs. I heard music playing and I saw a tub of ice cream half eaten on the counter. I looked at the back of the couch, seeing a familiar leg hanging off.

Are those.. _heels_?

No. That can't be Amu.

I let my eyes trail to the other side where a bloodstained cloth was wrapped around a pale hand. I saw a few drips of blood hit the floor.

_What __the __hell?_

I walked around a bit, seeing a familiar set of pink hair. Holy hell, this _is_Amu!

_Her..__ outfit..__ is __so.._

_**Revealing.**_

I gulped and tried to control my blush, not ready for the way she was dressed. I looked at the book on the coffee table that was currently open to a poem titled "Just Another Broken Heart". I rose a brow and quickly read through. I then flipped the page and read the newest one titled, "Invisible Strings".

**"Invisible ****Strings"  
><strong>His voice

Resounds in my head

Pull the pillow over my ears

I just can't fight these fears

Just like a haunting

His voice lingers, taunting

This scene plays like a horror movie

His words pierce right through me

This movie the scariest

This situation the hairiest

Phone ringing

Eyes stinging

A voice too merry to be my own

Greets strangers to an abandoned phone

Voicemail completely full

Way off schedule

Hearing his melodic voice once more

He's here to settle the score

"I'm sorry", "I love you", "Baby"

These words are just too shady

A shrill scream

Tears pouring down in a stream

Sickeningly sweet

My tears are his treat

No matter how many times I've tried

No matter how many times I've cried

They'll never believe

How many times I've tried to leave

He tugs on these invisible strings

Ignoring the pain it brings

He pulls on the strings of my heart

Almost tears it apart

I'll grow more and more disturbed

I'll feel even more perturbed

His lies always bring me back

My emotions under attack

How long before I break

Can't you tell this smile is fake?

Come and save me

Hear my plea

I wait and wonder

Beginning to go under

Drowning in my own tears

I've cried so much throughout the years

Beginning to doubt

I'll ever get out

Settling for less

I've become such a mess

I've come to my demolition

I've failed my mission

Just because of one small voice

Just because of one bad choice

These strings tattered

Heart shattered

Emotions scattered

Broken marionette

My destiny set

Thrown away

I'm here to stay

Inside this garbage can

All because of one man

Who stole everything from me

Who just couldn't see

How damaged I was

From the very beginning

I took a look at the girl next to me who was fast asleep. I frowned.

So she _was _upset today.

I looked around the house, seeing that various things were knocked over, or even broken.

Did _she _do this?

I noticed movement from beside me and saw Amu sitting up and rubbing her eyes, stretching out her arm. Yawning, she looked at me with glazed over honey orbs.

"Oh.. hey there, Ikuto," she greeted, voice hoarse, "What are you doing here?"

Eyes trailing to her hand, she looked at it too. I saw her eyes widen and she cursed.

"Oh shit!" she yelled, running into the kitchen, "Not again!"

I observed her from afar, not quite sure of how to react to all of this. I sighed and walked up behind her, hugging her waist. I felt her petite frame stiffen for a moment, surprised.

"Uhh.. Ikuto?"

"Amu.. are you alright?" I whispered in her ear. I felt her skin heat up slightly.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

"More lies? I thought we were over this, Amu," I said, spinning her around to face me. Pinning her against the counter, her eyes went wide.

"I-Ikuto?" she managed to whisper, stuttering over her words, "W-What are you doing?"

I leaned in by her ear once more, "Punishment."

I bit her ear, causing her to yelp in surprise.

"I-Ikuto!"

"Mind explaining this mess?"

Her heart was hammering against her chest quickly as my hand slowly trailed down her bare collar bone and shoulder.

_This__ ought __to__ be__ entertaining._

Sending her my infamous smirk, I repeated the question.

"U-Um.. you see.." she began, "My family called, saying they won't be back for awhile again, and I got upset.. so.. I punched the mirror and trashed the house.."

I sighed and pressed my forehead against hers.

"It's alright.. how about I make an offer?"

"An.. o-offer?"

"Yeah."

"I-It depends.."

I smirked to myself.

"How about I stay here with you.. and I sleep in your bed at night so you're not so alone?"

Feeling her face heat up, I smirked wider.

"W-What?"

_Oh __my,__ this__** will**__ be __fun._

**Moona-chan: **Ahhh, this chapter reallyyyy sucked. Oh well. I hope you guys liked it at least a little bit. It was rushed. xD Again. Well, I hope I update faster next time. I'm SOO sorry for the wait! Please review!


	14. The Broken Artist

**Moona-chan:** Hello everyone! Guess what? Suki-chan is back and ready for action! She came to me with this newest, special chapter, asking me to finish it off for her, and as usual, edit it very slightly. I hope you all enjoy!

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

**Disclaimer :**We own nothing besides the plot and poems

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

**Chapter 14: **The Broken Artist

**Normal POV**

"How about I stay here with you… and I sleep in your bed at night so you're not so alone?"

Amu's face turned bright red.

"Wh-What?" she stammered.

Ikuto smirked. "You heard me, I said I'll stay here with you tonight and we'll share the same bed tonight."

Amu backed away from him. "What the hell? You can't be serious! There is no way that's going to happen!" she yelled. He smirked once more.

"Aw, but why not? You said you're feeling lonely and all. If I'm with you, then you won't be so alone anymore, right?" he said, pulling her closer and hugging her tight.

Amu's face became hotter and hotter– if that was even possible– and tried to push him away.

"No! Never, ever, ever gonna happen!" she yelled, running up to her room and quickly locking the door before he could enter.

Ikuto knocked from outside, laughing. "Oh, come on, Amu! Open up! I was just kidding!" he continued laughing. Amu had hid under her blankets. She covered her ears.

"I'm not going to let you in! I don't trust you!" she yelled from beneath her blankets.

Ikuto laughed. "Well then, shall I go look for the key?" he asked. Amu gulped, she hadn't thought about it.

"Go on and look for it! I bet you can't find it!" she yelled back, trying to sound brave. Maybe I could run off from the balcony like how he always does, she thought to herself. But of course she couldn't. She wasn't brave enough.

The knocking had stopped. That means Ikuto had went to look for the key.

_Maybe __she __could __make __a__ run __for __it._

She got out of her bed and slowly opened the door. Coast is clear, she thought to herself. But before she even made her first step out of the room, she was pushed back in and the door was closed shut.

"Wh-What? How did you…" Amu asked. Ikuto smirked.

"I just hid at the dark corner and waited till you opened the door. I knew that sooner or later, you're gonna get out anyway."

Amu sighed. "Is there anything you can't do?" she asked. He shrugged. "Maybe…"

Amu sighed again. "I give up, you win…" she buried her face in his chest. He smiled.

"Well then, what's my reward for winning?" he asked.

"What do you want?"

He thought about it for awhile. Finally, he answered, "You."

"Well, haven't you received your prize yet?" she asked, looking up. "Nope." He replied.

"Well, what else do you want?" she asked again. He smiled. "

You know what I mean. I want you. I want you to be mine."

Amu's heart stopped beating for awhile. He lifted her chin up. "Have you not decided yet?" he asked.

Blinking, she dared to ask, "Decided what?"

"About us," he said. Amu went silent. She didn't want to think about it. She would get a headache thinking about it.

"I don't know…" she mumbled softly.

"What was that?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I'll tell you when the time comes," she replied.

He sighed, "Fine… But let me just tell you, I'll wait. I'll wait until you give me an answer."

Then he brought himself closer to her ear, "And I'm not going to give up that easily. I'll keep making you fall for me."

Amu's heart thumped. She closed her eyes.

She fell asleep in his arms. He pushed away a strand of hair that blocked her sleeping face. Ikuto smiled.

"You're so adorable," he kissed her forehead gently.

**MORNING**

Amu rolled over to the other side of the bed. The sheets still felt warm. That means Ikuto had stayed for the night.

She groaned. "What time is it?" she asked herself.

She opened her still sleepy eyes and looked at the clock; five in the morning. Grouchily, she got up; she couldn't sleep anymore.

_What__ should __she __do?_

She decided to change into a tracksuit and put on her jogging shoes. Time for a morning walk. A super early one, that is.

The morning air was cold and fresh. It was still dark but a slight hint of sunlight could be seen. Birds started chirping.

Amu took a deep breath of the fresh air. It had been a long time she took these early morning walks. Back then, she used to get up early to walk with her parents. But now, all those walks were just memories.

She looked at the time. 6:30 a.m.

She should go now and get ready for school. She had already missed it yesterday, so before making people worried _(that __is,__ if__ they __would)_, she had better go to school today.

Walking home, she kept thinking about Ikuto. His words last night was ringing in her ears.

I'll wait. I'll wait until you give me an answer.

Amu closed her eyes. As much as she had wanted to say yes, she couldn't. She was confused.

Everything just seemed so complicated.

_She_ was complicated.

She hated this. She felt guilty. She also had a crush on Tadase. Liking two people at the same time was just so.._wrong_.  
><em><br>__"__Why, __Amu?__ Why__ are __you __just__ so__…"_she thought to herself with a sigh. She shook her head. The more she thought about this, the more guilty she felt. She was going to push this problem at the side first. Now, she had school to worry about.

**SCHOOL**

"Oh, so that's why you didn't come to school yesterday."

Amu nodded. "Yeah, well, it was a pretty bad cut. So the doctor advised me to just stay home." She shrugged. It wasn't much of a lie. She did cut her hand after punching the mirror. But of course, she didn't tell her friends that. She had told them that she had slipped a plate from her hand and it had broken into pieces when it fell on the floor. Clumsily, she picked a piece up with her bare hands and 'accidentally' cut herself.

"Well, you better be careful next time," Yaya said. Amu nodded.

"Hinamori-san, are you alright?" a voice asked. They turned their heads and saw Tadase smiling.

"Ah, oh, I'm okay. I just had a little accident, that's all," Amu said. She forgot how cute he was. Then, she thought about Ikuto. The guilty feeling was bad.

Tadase saw her wrapped hand. "Oh, are you okay?" he asked. She nodded. "What happened?"

So she had to tell that story one more time. He nodded. "Oh, I see… well, I hope it gets better," he smiled at her saying this. Amu blushed.

"T-Thanks…" she mumbled softly.

"Erm, could I talk to you in private?" Tadase asked.

Amu looked at him. "Eh, sure."

And they went to somewhere quieter.

"That day… those marks I saw… were they…" he didn't finish his sentence. Amu gulped. She had forgotten that he knew about them. About her attempts to commit suicide.

She nodded. "Please, Tadase-kun, please… don't tell anyone about it. I… I don't want anyone to know…" she was close to tears. She didn't want to. She had never cried in front of anyone, aside from Ikuto.

"I won't, I promise," he said. "But, why? Why do you do all that?" he asked.

Amu looked down.

_She __was __expecting __that__ question._

"I… because… I…" she stuttered. Then, she looked up. "Well, it's none of your business, you don't have to know." With that, she walked away. But, Tadase caught her wrist.

"No, you're not leaving without giving me an answer," he said. She tried to pull away but his grip on her wrist was strong.

She looked down; she was thinking,_ "__Should__ I__ tell __him __or __not?__"_

The question repeated over and over again in her mind. Finally, she sighed.

"O-Okay… the truth is… I…" she was just about to tell him; but she didn't finish. Someone had pulled her away from Tadase.

"W-What?" she turned around and saw Ikuto. "I-Ikuto? What are you doing here?" she asked, but she didn't receive an answer.

"Oi, when someone doesn't want to tell you anything, then just leave it." Ikuto said.

"Who are you to tell me that?" Tadase asked.

Ikuto smirked. "Me? I'm Amu's boyfriend." And with that, he pulled Amu and left Tadase alone.

When they finally got far away from where Tadase was, they stopped walking. "What are you doing here?" Amu asked Ikuto. He looked at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked. He pulled her chin up. She nodded. "I'm fine, don't worry about me." she said.

Ikuto frowned slightly and hugged Amu, planting a kiss on her forehead. Blushing, Amu squirmed.

_This was all too much._

Pushing Ikuto away, Amu sent him a fierce glare.

"What the hell?" she hissed, "Why would you yell at Tadase-kun like that?"

"He was pestering you," Ikuto replied, trying to hug her again, but only received a cold gaze and a slight push.

"So what? That doesn't give you the right to proclaim you're my _boyfriend_!" she yelled, "What were you thinking?"

Ikuto frowned again. He didn't like this side of Amu, not at all. He knew she was hurting, but it hurt him to see her like this.

"Amu, I-"

"Shut up! Stop it already! Get away from me!" she said taking two steps back.

Tears clouded her vision, streamed down her face.

"Just.. just stay the hell away from me!" she screamed, tears streaming down her red face.

As Amu ran away, Ikuto looked to the ground.

_Damn it, Amu.. stop it.. I don't want to lose you. So just.. let me help you._

When Amu reached her house, she slammed the door shut and leaned on it, her bangs covering her eyes.

A sob escaped her dry mouth as she slid to the floor, crying into her hands.

Minutes passed, almost an hour before she sniffled and got on her knees to crawl over to her notebook and pen.

Picking up the pen, she began writing a new poem.

**"The Broken Artist"**

You molded me from the mess of clay I was  
>You didn't even make a single pause<p>

I was broken in your secure den  
>And you fixed me back up again<p>

I want to thank you  
>For staying so true<p>

So true and understanding  
>You were absolutely outstanding<p>

Your voice was my safe haven  
>You're so maven<p>

This was an addiction  
>And the side effects included a terrible affliction<p>

I had to get away  
>No matter how much I wanted to stay<p>

I tried and tried  
>Yet no matter how hard I cried<p>

I wasn't able to escape  
>I couldn't exfoliate<p>

I love you  
>I still do<p>

This love wasn't right  
>No matter how much I wanted to hold you tight<br>I knew this wasn't right

I'll never tell you all the pain I went through  
>But I'll give you a preview<p>

I never meant to hurt you  
>My words were askew<p>

I was made by a caring artist  
>And this task was the hardest<p>

One day I'll stay  
>But for now...<p>

I am the Broken Artist

**Moona-chan:** Alright, that poem is old, and sucky. I need to get into the habit of writing again.. Well, sorry for the rushed ending, that was my part.. please review!


	15. Tainted

**Moona-chan: **Sorry for the wait, everyone! I was busy with school work, but I'm back to update the latest chapter of Faded Poems and Broken Violins! Thank you for all of your support, it means a lot. :)

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

**Disclaimer****:** We own nothing besides the plot and poems

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

**Chapter****15:** Tainted

**Amu**** POV**

I closed my book and hugged my knees to my chest. Sobbing, I lowered my head down, resting them on my knees.

_Why __did__ I __do __that?__ Why __did __I __hurt__ him __again?_

Ikuto doesn't deserve a self-loathing sap like me.. he deserves some better.

Wait-

I'm not Ikuto's girlfriend though.

Why should I say he doesn't deserve to be treated this way?

Ikuto and I are only friends. Yeah, only friends, Amu.

_Then__ explain __these __feelings._

**Ikuto ****POV**

After Amu ran out on me, I decided to drop in at her house and apologize for yelling at Tadase.

Instead of just coming through her balcony, I decided to knock on the door. I heard someone sniffle and stand up.

"Coming!" I heard Amu's soft voice call. It cracked as she began to talk. Swinging the door wide open, I saw Amu's shocked expression; wide golden orbs shining with tears, messy pink hair sticking to porcelain cheeks, slightly cracked pink lips opened in an 'o' shape.

"Ikuto.." she whispered, the tears threatening to fall. Sending the best smile I could, I asked if I could come in. As she nodded, I walked closer to her and hugged her shaking frame. She froze, her body tense.

"I'm sorry Amu," I whispered, "I didn't mean to upset you."

A single sob escaped her mouth, "I-I.."

Thin arms wrapped around me and I felt Amu bury her face into my shirt.

"I'm so sorry Ikuto," she sobbed, "I'm so sorry!"

_Too__ quick __to __forgive, __aren't__ we,__ Ikuto?_

I smirked to myself and sniffed her hair.

"You smell like strawberries."

Amu's sobbing paused and she pulled away, giving me a strange look, "What?"

"Your hair," I smirked, "It smells like strawberries."

Cheeks going cherry red, Amu pouted, wiping away her tears.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto, I might as well just slap you!" she yelled, "Smelling a girl's hair while she's crying and comment about it!"

I had to laugh at her comment.

"Hey, at least it was a compliment," I teased, ruffling her hair, causing her to pout again.

I smirked once more and leaned against the wall.

"So," I began, catching her attention, "Just because you need supervision, I'm going to sleep here until your parents get back home."

"W-What?" Amu yelled, "No way! You stupid, perverted, cat eared weirdo!"

"Cat eared..?" I laughed, "I didn't know you thought of me that way, Amu. A little perverted, are we?"

Amu's face lit up a bright red once again and she started yelling profanities, trying to hit me. I laughed at picked her up, putting her over my shoulder.

"Ahh, Ikuto!" she cried out as I began to walk up the steps. She began hitting my back and failing around.

"If you keep struggling like that, I'll just drop you down the steps," I called to her. Her struggling immediately stopped. I opened her bedroom door and dropped her on the floor while I plopped down on the bed. Landing with a thud, Amu squeaked.

"How rude!" she said. Chuckling, I gazed at the ceiling.

"Hey, Amu?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's your poem book? I haven't read it in a long time."

When I looked over to Amu, her former smile and blush was gone and replaced with a slight frown.

"Oh, that," she muttered, "I'll get it, hold on."

_What __was __that__ about?_

Amu walked out of the room and down the stairs, only to come back up again with a familiar notebook and pen. She handed me the book and laid down on the floor, clearly tired.

"Don't judge me for the poems in there Ikuto," Amu called to me, her golden eyes trailing over to meet my own violet ones, "The poems are the author, I only publish them."

Giving her an odd look, I began to read.

_They__ can't__ be __all__ that __bad._

**Amu**** POV**

I watched as Ikuto read through the book as if it were his favorite book in the world. He read through every line as if it were the best thing he's ever read.

I don't understand.

What's so interesting about a twelve year old girl with depression eating away at her?

I'm no heroine.

I'm no princess.

I'm just the damsel in distress with a book full of poems and back story that no one wants to read.

What's so interesting about that?

Who would want to read about something like that?  
><em><br>A__ self __loathing __sap __with __depression __eating __away __at __their __core __and__ extreme __trust __issues._

_Did __I __miss __something?_

Ikuto suddenly looked over to me.

"Where did you come up with this?" he asked, pointing at a poem titled "Tainted."

"I already told you," I started, as serious as I could be, "The poems tell the story, they're the author, I'm just the publisher."

Ikuto frowned and continued reading.

I thought back to the poem, _Tainted._

It was nothing special, and it certainly wasn't the best of the ones I've written down.

I memorized every line though. I began to recite it in my head.

**"Tainted"**

Blood stain the walls  
>My screams unheard<br>Tears stain my cheeks  
>My pleads not acknowledged<br>Ink stain my hands  
>My emotions sprawled out on paper<br>I bang my fist on the wall  
>Screaming in pain and anger<br>Only when I stop  
>To think of everything<br>I release  
>All the pain<br>All the hate  
>All the fear<br>I tell myself  
>To stay calm<br>To stay strong  
>And devoid of emotion<br>I hate everything about me  
>I don't have the courage<br>To look myself in the mirror  
>When I do<br>I see someone else  
>Cold and empty<br>I hate it  
>I try to keep my emotions inside<br>Until they come pouring out  
>My heart aches in pain<br>The voices in my head  
>Whispering bad things<br>Tempting me to do things  
>I would never dream of<br>Reality is really just one big lie  
>Everything spins<br>Everyone dances  
>With or without a mask<br>And play their part  
>Big or small<br>They're still lying  
>To everyone in the audience<br>And to everyone watching  
>Everyone in this world<br>Is the same  
>There is no sense of perfection<br>There is no goal  
>All there is<br>Is pain  
>Fear<br>Self loathing  
>Hatred<br>And lies  
>We've lowered our standards<br>And there's no way to climb back up  
>To where we used to be<br>All there is now  
>Is to live in the moment<br>To live in sin  
>And to begin<br>The extermination  
>Of all things<br>To begin  
>The very end<p>

"You know," I said, breaking the silence, "Having those words come to you; being a poet; it's a curse."

I didn't even bother to look at him again. I stared at the ceiling, knowing he was staring. I was used to it by now.

"And you know what else?"

"What?"

"Endings are the worst. Writing an ending to a story, or even sometimes a poem, it's hard. There's always something you'll feel like you left out, the fans are always gonna bitch, and there's never truly an ending to anyone's story."

Ikuto looked at me, "Of course there's an ending to everything. There's death. Nothing lasts forever. Not love, not life, not even a dream."

"There's where you're wrong. When you die, you have to go somewhere. Even if it were just darkness, and emptiness, it's still somewhere, right? Dreams will be passed down from generation to generation. Life is merely an illusion to be honest. You can be breathing, but you're not truly living unless you're happy. If you're empty, you haven't lived. You're just.. here. And as for love.. love will always be there. You can't fall out of love. You can claim to, but the person will always be in your heart. There's no way of getting them out, even if you hate them greatly. They'll always be in your heart. Whether you like it or not."

Smiling, I looked over to Ikuto.

"I thought like you for a long time, at least about love, you know," I started, cheeks warm, "But then someone came around and changed my mind. I'm grateful for having them in my life.."

"Does this person have a name?" Ikuto asked with a smirk. I blushed harder and looked away.

"I'm not telling~" I teased

As Ikuto pouted, we bantered on and on.

_Thank you.. Ikuto.._

**Moona-chan: **Well, that's it! Was Ikuto a little too.. happy? o.o Anyways, please review! I'm so sorry for the long wait!


	16. Keep Them Guessing

**Suki-chan:** Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for leaving you guys for SOOO long! I didn't mean it, really. I hate myself and I felt really guilty. Well, I was taking my final exams about a few weeks ago so I was really busy. Ergh, I hate exams anyways, I hope you peeps enjoyed my previous chapter and I'm gonna keep trying my best to give you peeps a wonderful story. So here's chapter 16

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins  
><strong>_**~!Warning: Strong Language!~  
>Disclaimer: <strong>We own nothing besides the plot and poems  
><strong>Chapter 16: <strong>Keep them Guessing

This seriously sucks.

I'm trapped in class, listening to this boring teacher drone about solving these maths problems. Sometimes, I just want to yell out, "For God's sake, can't you solve your own freaking problems?"

Ugh!

The bell finally rang. I stood up first, packing my stuff. But before the teacher let us out, the chairman of the Arts Society came to class with an announcement.

"Hello everyone! I'm just here to remind you about Art Week, which is next week. As you all know, our Arts Society isn't just about drawing or coloring. When we say art, we mean poetry, drama, stories, and so on. So I hope you guys would contribute a little. You can send in your short stories or poems or your drawings. We'd love to show it to the whole school," she said cheerfully.

The truth is I've always wanted to join the Arts Society. I always wanted to be in that club. It seemed really fun. Plus, there were people who actually liked things like me. If I had joined that club, I'd have so many friends.

Of course, being the idiot I am, I didn't join it.

_I was shy. _

I wanted to go sign up for it. I had the sign-up sheet with me. But I decided to throw it away.

When she said poetry, I wanted to jump. My heart fluttered.

_That was me._

I could send in my poems to them. I could finally reveal my feelings to everyone. I would..

What the hell was I thinking? Of course I can't do that.

That is _not_ me.

Everyone would be thinking, "Hinamori Amu wrote that? Oh my God!"

I sighed. I wish I had the courage.

_I wish.._

I walked out of school. On my way, I saw the chairman of the society again. She was sticking some note on the bulletin board. Then some papers fell from her arms.

"Damn it," she cursed. I walked over to her.

"Hey, let me help," I said to her. She looked up and went speechless.

"Hi-Hinamori-san!" she said my name with amazement. I cringed.

_I hate it when they do that._

"Oh, I'm so grateful! Thank you very much Hinamori-san!" she said as I gave her the papers.

"Your name is Manami right?" I asked her. She nodded with excitement.

"Ah! You know my name!" she jumped up and down excitedly.  
><em><br>Weird, but filled with lots of energy._ I smiled.

_I can never be like her._

"What are these?" I asked her after looking at one of the papers.

"Oh, these are flyers for the Art Week. I just wanted to put them up to remind people that they could send in their stuff like poems or stuff," she smiled and pinned one on the board.

I just felt like taking out my notebook and showing her my poems but I was afraid to.

_I'm really just shy. _

Suddenly an idea struck me. "Hey, um.. let's just say, that one person is really, _really_ shy.. and she- or he.. wants to.. you know.. send in something to you…"

She nodded.

"But they wouldn't want you to publish their names or anything.. so, what would you do?"

She thought about it. Then she shrugged. "Hmm, now that you've mentioned it, I've never really thought about it before."

I smiled. I was punching air in my heart, going "Yes!"

"Well.. I've an idea. Why don't you do this?" I asked before I whispered my idea to her. After that, she looked up at me with sparkly eyes.

"You're a genius!"

**A WEEK LATER**

**NORMAL POV**

The hall was filled with students everywhere. There were boards filled with drawings, poems, short stories and some random things.

There were booths for people to sign up for the Arts Society if they were interested. The president seemed really busy.

"Wow! That is so beautiful!"

"I never knew she could draw that well!"

"Now you know!"

Everyone were admiring everything that was being displayed, complimenting them. But the poems section drew a lot of attention from the students.

**"Keep Them Guessing"**

_Keep Them Guessing_

It's a little game she likes to play  
><em>She wants them to stay<em>  
>She decides to act like she doesn't care<br>_They all want her to share_  
>Share the pain of that feeling<br>_They want to know how she's dealing_  
>With the pain of regret<br>_They tell her not to fret_  
>She tells them she's alright<br>_She'll never make it through the night_  
>All she does is sit and keep that forced smile<br>_Her emotions on trial_  
>The game she plays<br>_It's all one big maze_  
>No one knows how to win<br>_No one knows how to get beyond that fake grin_  
>They all try to guess<br>_But they will never learn about this emptiness_  
>As everyone loses the game<br>_She bows her head in shame_  
>Why wouldn't she confess?<br>_She was such a mess_  
>All of the stress<br>_It made her world spin_  
>And now it was time to begin<br>_Her own little game_  
>Of Keep Them Guessing<br>_With herself_

"Oh wow! This is such a good poem!"

"Yeah, gosh! Who wrote this?"

Everyone looked at the bottom to look for a name but the only thing they saw was 'Anonymous'.

Everyone sighed.

"What a shame!"

"Yeah, it's like, when I read this poem, I somehow managed to imagine myself in that situation."

"You get that too?"

"It somehow makes me shudder. It's like she is really lonely."

"But who is it?"

That was what everyone wanted to know.

Amu silently answered "me."

She could just imagine everyone's expression if she actually said that it was her.

Instead, she just walked away from that section. Perhaps she should just get out for a little while and get some fresh air.

She remembered her conversation with Manami the other day when she handed her some newly written poems. There is absolutely no way she would give her old ones. No one will ever read them.

No one but Ikuto.

_"Here, these are the poems."_

_Manami looked at them, only to look back up and yell, "Oh wow! These are so beautifully written!"_

_Amu blushed. This was another person who complimented her for her poems._

_"So, can you please not include my name for this? I really don't want anyone to know it's me.." Amu said softly._

_"But why not? I mean, these are awesome! I'm sure everyone would love them!" Manami questioned._

_Amu shook her head, "I.. I just don't want anyone to know.."_

_Amu looked down in silence for awhile._

_Finally, Manami said, "Okay then, I'll put this under anonymous." She smiled._

_Amu smiled back. "Thank you._"

Her secrets were safe.

_For now.._

Amu decided to walk back to the hall. Maybe she had enough air for now.

"Hello, my cute little kitten," she heard from behind. She'd recognize that voice anywhere.

Before she managed to turn behind, he had hugged her waist tightly.

"Well, what do we have here? A little kitten lost? Or is she skipping class for a reason?" he smirked. Amu giggled.

"No, of course not. We're having Art's Week," she let herself go. It's been a while since she saw Ikuto since he was taking his exams.

"How're you? I missed you so much," he hugged her again. She laughed. She missed him too. But as usual, her cool façade took over and so her answer was:

"Well, I didn't-"

"Liar."

She shrugged, "Well, maybe a little.."

He laughed, "Well, anything cool happening?"

"Um.."

She told him about the poems and he nodded. "Well, looks like someone's found confidence," he said, smiling.

She blushed. "Maybe.."

_Confidence. _

Was that the word? Was it what she felt when she handed Manami the poems?

"Anyway, I'd love to see these new poems that I have never read before. May I?" he asked, holding her hand. She blushed again.

"Don't you have school?" she asked. He shrugged and smirked.

"Maybe I'll skip it, for my beloved Amu," he grinned. Once again, she blushed.

"Well now, isn't someone a blusher today?"

"Shut up."

And they both walked to the hall, hand in hand.

When they went into the hall, more and more people were crowding around the poems section.

"Whoa, looks like someone's a hit," Ikuto said. She shook her head.

"Who's that someone? It's anonymous," she said.

They both grinned.

_Only three people knew about this. _

Suddenly, there was an announcement.

"Attention students. A book with white and black stars has been found. It has the word NOTES in front and.."

Amu and Ikuto didn't need to wait for the announcement to get more of the description. They immediately knew.

It was Amu's poems book.

And it was in the hands of a stranger.

"Shit."

**Moona-chan: **Well, guys, that's all for Suki-chan's part! I guess I'm up next. Sorry for the long wait, and the terrible poem. I haven't written a single poem in _months_. I guess I've lost a bit of inspiration? Oh well. I promise to write more as soon as possible and update quickly! Please review! :)


	17. Broken Marionette

**Moona-chan**: Ahh, I'm sooo sorry everyone! I've been working on my high school applications, so I've been very busy. So many projects to do. I've been very sick lately, and I had to audition into this art school. I'm also working on a bunch of cosplays (mostly from Durarara) and all. Well, there's a bunch of excuses I could use, but I'm not going to. I'm just here to say I'm sooo sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you guys. Enjoy this chapter everyone!

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_**  
>~!Warning: Strong Language!~<br>Disclaimer: **We own nothing besides the plot and poems**  
>Chapter 17: <strong>Broken Marionette

**Amu POV**

Ikuto and I immediately rushed to the source of the announcement; the principle's office.

_'I swear, if they read __**anything**__ I __**will **__kill them.'_

As we reached the office, I froze immediately.

_They'll know that I wrote that poem.._

"Amu?" Ikuto called to me, shaking my shoulder lightly, "Earth to Amu? Are you okay?"

"I can't go in there.." I muttered.

"Why not? What's wrong?"

I looked up at Ikuto, frowning.

"They'll know it was me who wrote that poem."

Ikuto frowned as well but shook his head.

"It doesn't matter anymore, let's just get your book back."

I nodded but shied away behind Ikuto as he knocked on the door. A lanky man with sandy blonde hair and violet eyes opened the door. He greeted Ikuto with a smile and a light pat on the head.

"Why hello there Ikuto!" the man greeted, welcoming us into his office.

"Hello Tsukasa-san."

The man named Tsukasa smiled after taking a peek at me.

"I take it you are Hinamori Amu."

Staring him straight in the eye, I kept up a respectful yet cool facade.

"Yes, sir."

"And I presume that you are looking for this," the man smiled, holding up my notebook. I felt my heart drop.

He knew it was mine.

"Yes, sir," I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat. My heart jack hammered against my chest.

Tsukasa smiled and opened to a bookmarked page. I bit my bottom lip.

Which of the many did he dare to read?

He took in a deep breath and began to read.

"Broken marionette

So gloomy and weary

Her life so sad and dreary

Strings tangled and tattered

Dreams of greatness shattered

Isn't she just a work of art?

Destined for destruction from the start

She sells herself to anyone willing to buy

All she can do is hope and try

So caught up in her facade

She didn't look out for possible fraud

Where was her God?

A hand to hold when most needed?

All day long she pleaded

Not once she succeeded

Hollow and flawed

You surely must applaud

This wonderful creature

Embrace every feature

Dishonesty and hate

Was all it took to complicate

That marionette's story

Her days of glory

Never came around

She was bound

To the chains of distrust

The temptations of lust

The harsh whispers of disgust

Though her actions were unjust

They were an absolute must

She was never taught

To give a single thought

To a future, a life

All there was in her world was strife

All there was in her world was pain

There was nothing for her to gain

So she set up a game

To make sure nothing was the same

Strangers came, strangers went

Their will was always bent

Every night she spent

She polished up this game of hers

Broken marionette

There's no need to fret

You won't regret

The game you've set

There's no need

For your plead

Your new life

Starts now"

As he finished reading the poem, he closed the book and sent me a smile.

"Miss Hinamori, I suggest you take better care of such valuable poems."

Ikuto glanced at me and back to Tsukasa in a second. He was mildly surprised at Tsukasa's words. I sent him a smile nonetheless and stood before bowing in respect and thanks.

"I won't ask how you though of such masterpieces but if you ever need help or guidance, I'm always here."

I nodded quickly, eager to have my book slide back into my own hands. They felt so empty and bare.

Tsukasa sent me yet another smile and gently handed me the book.

"Thank you so much Tsukasa-san."

He nodded and escorted both Ikuto and I out of the room. As the door closed, I felt an arm drape around my shoulders. Looking up, I met taunting sapphire orbs.

"So, my little strawberry," Ikuto began with a slight pur in his voice and a smirk molded onto his face, "I see that you've been writing and never bothered to show me. I'm quite hurt, kitten. You deserved to be punished."

Blushing, I quickly looked away and crossed my arms stubbornly, huffing.

"You don't need to control every aspect of my life you know!"

Ikuto just chuckled and ruffled my hair. I hissed and fixed it, red faced.

"Ah, Amu-koi," he began teasing again, leaning in close to my face, "Someone sure is feisty today."

Swatting his face away quickly, I turned away again and crossed my arms against my chest before walking away with Ikuto down the hall. I felt his hand slide into mine once I lowered them.

I felt a smile rise.

_Thank you Ikuto._

Thank you, for caring..

When no one else did.

Thank you, for everything.

"Hey, Ikuto," I started, tugging on his shirt to get his attention. He looked down and rose a brow.

"Do you promise to be with me forever?"

Smiling, Ikuto hugged me, "I promise."

"Promise me something else?"

"Like what, Amu?"

I paused before hugging back tightly.

"Promise me you'll love me, only me, for who I am."

Ikuto's grip on me tightened.

"Forever."

_Thank you, Ikuto._

My requests may be unfair, they may be selfish, but..

_I love him._

**Moona-chan: **Okay, yeah, that was A LOT shorter than planned, but I updated! With a sweet and fluffy ending that doesn't match the poem. :3 Oh well~ The poem is new and fresh, but since I do have major writers block, it's not really good. Oh well xD Please review!


	18. Two Faced

**Moona-chan: **Hey guys! I'm terribly sorry for the long wait! Anyways, I'm back and ready to give you another chapter. Sorry that I haven't updated, I've been trying to find inspiration to write more poems. :)

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_  
><strong>~!Warning: Strong Language!~<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>We own nothing besides the plot and poems  
><strong>Chapter 18: <strong>Two Faced

**Amu POV**

Coward.

That's all I consider myself to be.

A coward with piss-stained pants.

Okay, maybe not literally, but I honestly feel like it.

Why am I feeling this way?

Tell me, have you ever fallen in love so hard and fast that you still had whiplash? I hope your answer is no. I hope you all are smarter than I am. I, Hinamori Amu, fell like in love with non other than Tsukiyomi Ikuto. I've only known him for a few months now, I believe. Damn, I really must be a naive twelve year old.

Listen up now. Before you all call me a love struck little kid, let me explain myself real fast.

Ikuto. Well, he's like no other. Believe me or don't all you want, but it sure as hell is true. Ikuto is my inspiration. He helps me get better day by day, yet he causes me to feel so helpless. You see, Ikuto makes a girl feel wanted. He's made me feel pretty, girly, and strong. He helps me battle all of my flaws. He helps me conquer all of my fears.

Where is the problem you may ask?

I can't tell him I love him. Ikuto is my best friend. He is my one and only friend as well. I can't lose something that important because of a girly confession.

I already know he likes me. He's proved it countless times.

So why am I so afraid of rejection?

I'll get back to you on that.

**Ikuto POV**

Absolutely stunning.

What on earth am I referring to?

Not a what, but a _who._

Hinamori Amu is who.

The girl of my dreams.

Amu. Damn, what a perfect name for a perfect girl. I swear, this kiddo is a goddess. Silky smooth bubblegum pink hair, creamy pale skin, sincere honey golden eyes, and slender fingers that fit perfectly in mine.

Although, she _is _flat chested.

Well.. there are those rumors that flat girls are crazy in bed-

Wait.

Stop right there, Ikuto.

You're being a pervert.

As I was saying, Amu is perfect.

So why aren't I dating this young beauty yet?

Well, there is the age difference to take into consideration. Five years sure seems like a lot at the time. It sounds kind of gross that a seventeen year old is dating a twelve year old. But hey, I can deal with that.

But there's also the fact that she sure as hell isn't ready. Amu is a fragile creature. Depression, anxiety, and past experiences aren't exactly helping the case. She's pretty dense too. I know for certain that she likes me.

Amu is my own personal book.

She's just so easy to read.

Either way. Tonight, I have certain questions to ask my little strawberry.

Oh, my dear Amu, you sure are in for one lovely surprise.

**Amu POV**

7:04 PM.

Damn. Already?

Nothing to do here, as usual.

Ami, Mama and Papa are back though. Thankfully.

They asked me about my hand, which is still wrapped in bandages after punching that mirror.

That sure was a hard one to explain.

My easy answer?

I said I dropped a plate, and it cut me as I picked up the broken pieces.

Not my best lie, but not exactly my worst.

Things are the same as always though. Mama and Papa are obsessing over Ami, I'm in my room by myself and Ami is playing dress up and being cute. Mama is planning yet another "vacation" as she calls them, which means they'll be gone again soon. More free time for me I suppose. It's not as if I want to actually go on vacation with them anyways. I would be ignored, like always. So whatever.

_I don't need them._

Anyways. All there is to do tonight is watch anime on the TV, eat ice cream, and work on some poems.

"Amu-chan! Can you help me clear the table?" Mama called from downstairs.

Rolling my eyes, I shouted in response, "Yeah, sure! Be down in a minute!"

I put my ice cream on the floor, shoved off my poem book, and ran down the stairs.

I bounced with each and every step, my messily braided hair bouncing on my shoulders. At the last step, I pushed my bangs out of my eyes and beamed a smile.

Hey, it may be boring here, but who says I can't randomly be happy?

Within three minutes, the table was cleared of its mess so bounced up the stairs, opening the door to my room only to slam it quickly.

A gasp escaped my lips, and a furious red blush crept up my cheeks.

"Hello, kitten."

That voice belonged to only one man.

And that man is Tsukiyomi Ikuto.

The man who is currently sitting on my bed, poem book in his lap, smirk spread across his face.

The man who holds my heart.

The man that I officially fallen in love with.

"Holy fuck."

**Ikuto POV**

I decided to drop by Amu's house, and read a quick poem or two before teasing her like always.

But my kitten is just too irresistible tonight. Dressed in pink short shorts, a white tank top, pink socks with white polka dots and her hair in two cute braids, my strawberry was looking absolutely adorable tonight.

"Now, Amu, it isn't lady like to use such language," I smirked to myself, flipping a page through the book, "I'm loving this poem by the way. It's a bit different than the others."

"Which one?" she dared to ask. I smirked again and bean to recite the poem.

"No one seems  
>To know what it means<br>To be split in two  
>To have someone in you<br>Other than yourself

She was an imaginary friend  
>The best one I ever had<br>Her persona would always bend  
>The fluctuating kindness seemed to be a fad<p>

As time passed  
>Her kindness didn't last<br>She began to hurt others  
>Number one enemy of mothers<p>

She's hidden in these walls  
>Lurks the closet<br>Roams the halls

Don't get me angry  
>Don't make me sad<br>She'll make you wish  
>You never had<p>

She'll attack you  
>With words so cruel<p>

You don't know the things  
>She'll make me do<p>

Anger flows within every vein  
>She'll make you writhe in pain<p>

When did I ever become the monster  
>I set out to destroy?"<p>

Amu's face turned deep scarlet.

"A work in progress?"

A nod was the only response I received. I grinned and flipped through the pages once more.

"U-Um.. Ikuto?" Amu whispered, sitting next to me. I looked over at her, and smiled at what I saw. She sat with her legs crossed, one hand in her lap, the other pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Yes?"

"I.. have a secret to tell you.." she muttered, her face growing redder by the moment. I smirked and got closer to her.

"And that is?"

Getting closer to my ear, I felt her heartbeat quickening. She let out an unsteady breath in my ear, causing me to shiver.

_This should be me doing this to her right now.._

"I.." she began to whisper, "I.. like.. you.."

I smiled and quickly hugged her, pulling her onto my chest.

"Well, I have a bigger secret to tell you then."

"W-What is it?"

I pushed back her braid, lightly kissing her neck before whispering;

"I, Tsukiyomi Ikuto, have officially fallen in love with you, Hinamori Amu."

**Moona-chan: **Wee! Fluffy Amuto moment guys! Did I do okay for my first time back? This chapter was unlike all of the others, ne? And the title was a bit deceiving, right? Well, looks like I got you! If you thought something bad was going to happen, well, too bad~ Oh well! Anyways, please review! I'll try and update faster next time, I swear! Sorry for another short chapter Dx


	19. Busted

**Moona-chan: **Damn, it's been a month already? Wow. I'm really sorry guys. I haven't had internet in a longggg time. I'm going to try and update faster from now on though, especially since I get out of school in a few weeks. June first baby. Oh, then graduation on the fourth, but that's besides the point. I'm terribly sorry for the wait. Anyways, here's chapter nineteen! :)

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_

**~!Warning: Strong Language!~**

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing besides the plot and poems

**Chapter 19: **Busted

**Amu POV**

Have you ever had

Such an awkward moment

That you had no idea

What was going on?

Confusion settled deep within these veins

As my mother walked in

On the one truly tender moment

I've had in a long time

Perhaps it's just me

But I find it very unsettling

When that parent

Does nothing

To stop this moment

Between a random boy

And their beloved daughter

Getting busted

Was the least of my worries

Now, as for their reactions

That was something I would lose sleep over

Wow.

Talk about embarrassing.

"What on Earth are you referring to, Amu?"

Is that your question?

Because I don't have a very simple answer.

How do I put this simply?

Well. I confessed to Ikuto. And he confessed to me as well.

What could be so terrible about that?

How about your mother walking in on you during this time?

Yeah.

Pretty awkward, huh?

What would you do if you saw your daughter sitting on an older man's lap, while he's kissing her neck, moving on to her face?

Well, my mum screamed.

This can't end too well.

**Ikuto POV**

Oh God.

I forgot about Amu's parents.

Damn.

Never imagined them finding us in here.

I mean, it's not like they're ever around, right?

And to be perfectly honest, I'm not too familiar with Amu's front door.

Not like I use it anyways.

Windows are more my thing.

I must admit, Amu really doesn't look a thing like her mother.

Maybe she's adopted?

**Amu POV**

"Oh, um, hey mum," I stuttered out, scrambling off of Ikuto as fast as possible.

I don't think my face could ever be more red than it was at that moment.

"Amu.. who is this..?" mama asked, eyes trailing from me to Ikuto.

"Um, hello Mrs. Hinamori," Ikuto started, standing to his feet, "My name is Tsukiyomi Ikuto. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Mama awkwardly nodded at Ikuto, who stuffed his hands in his pockets, pink faced.

Well.

Isn't this just an odd sight.

"Amu, may I speak to you for a moment?"

I nodded in response, sending a quick glance in Ikuto's direction before walking out into the hallway. All of a sudden, Mama grabbed my hands.

"Where did you meet him? How old is he? Are you dating?" Mama practically squealed as she bombarded me with questions.

"Uhh.. what?" I whispered, dumbfounded.

What on earth is she talking about?

She's.. happy for me?

What the hell?

You're supposed to yell at me!

"Are you two dating? He's a hottie."

Kill me now.

My mum thinks Ikuto's hot.

Please, someone shoot me.

Right in the face.

Between my eyes.

"Um.. no, Mama, we're not dating? I don't really know?"

Mama laughed and hugged me, "Aw, my baby girl's growing up so fast! I won't keep you any longer, go and talk to your boyfriend!"

And with that, she left. Practically skipping away.

Okay. Once again.

What the hell?

I quietly walked back into my room, awkwardly closing the door, staring at nothing in particular.

"So.. how did it go?" Ikuto asked, hand touching mine. I didn't dare look up. I just stared at the wall in confusion before sitting on the bed.

"What the hell?"

"What?"

I looked over to Ikuto, "She.. congratulated me..?"

"..What?"

"I don't even know."

We sat in silence, trying to think back on the situation that was just at hand.

What just happened?

Someone please fill me in.

Because this is one awkward mess.

Now, you may ask yourself, "Well damn, Amu, you got off easy. What's so wrong about this?"

Well. Take this into consideration.

My parents give me no consequences.

They leave me here alone, and go on vacation with my sister.

They don't yell at me for having a boy in my room.

They don't do jack squat.

Something's wrong with that picture.

Do they just not care?

Or do they honestly just not know how to parent correctly?

Sometimes I ponder these things,

But I'll never have the answer.

**Moona-chan: **I hate myself for writing this. It's so shitty, and overly short. And the poem thing in the beginning is a total spoiler. Please forgive me. But for real. I'm sorry for not updating. I'm so busy with graduation. But I have great news! I am officially done with school on the fourth (technically the first, the fourth is my graduation, the first is my last day of school) so I'll have more free time to write and gain inspiration! :D


	20. Surprises

**Moona-chan: **Hey guys. I'm really sorry about not updating quickly once again. It's just that I've been dealing with so much in my personal life.. and I've been working on my cosplays for Otakon (I may be Amu once again, maybe a few of you will see me there?). So I'm terribly sorry about the long wait. I've had inspiration.. I've just been so out of it, honestly. I've been very emotionally unstable for quite some time. So I'm sorry! I'll try and overcome this to update faster, guys. Sorry to have kept you waiting!

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_  
><strong>~!Warning: Strong Language!~<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>We own nothing besides the plot and poems  
><strong>Chapter 20: <strong>Surprises

**Amu POV**

You know, I honestly thought I was done with bullshit.

But hey, life is full with surprises. Some that aren't wanted. Some that are needed.

But this surprise?

This wasn't either. This surprise was something I wasn't ready for. This was something I needed to be a lie.

Oh my, I seem to be ranting once more without giving an explanation. Silly me.

You see, Ikuto is leaving on vacation with his family. Leaving me behind.

I can't do this. I can't continue to survive without him. I just can't.

He is my air. He keeps me breathing. He keeps me from sinking back under.

_No._

No, no, no. This will not do. He can't leave. He can't leave me here. No. He just _can't_.

He can't do this to me.

And he damn well _won't _do this to me.

Call me selfish, but I will do _everything _and _anything _to get him to stay.

He won't leave me here all alone.

He just can't..

Right?

**Ikuto POV**

Right after Amu's mom talked to her about.. uh, well, us, I told Amu about my family's vacation.

I could practically hear her heart shatter. Her face immediately dropped that perfect smile and replaced it with a heart breaking look.

It was a look of shock, anger, and dispare all filled into one. It was a look only she could wear. Golden eyes filled with agony and tears, quickly flicking from side to side, desperate for the words to be a lie.

"You.. you.." she stuttered out, desperate whispers attempting to stutter a command, "You can't.."

I grabbed her hand and sighed, "I have to go with them, Amu. I have to."

She snatched away her hand and looked up at me, eyes searching mine for a hint of a lie.

"No!" she yelled, standing up, "You-you can't just.. just leave me here!"

I tried to hug her, but all she did was push me away.

"Amu, don't be like that.." I whispered, grabbing her wrist.

"How could you just leave me here.." she whispered back, tears streaming down her face, "You know I can't.. I can't.."

I embraced her in a hug, shushing her, "You'll be just fine without me."

"How could you even say that.." she muttered in my chest, sobbing.

"It'll all be okay, Amu. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Ikuto. Because to be perfectly honest, I don't think this one will ever come true."

I looked down at her, shocked.

How could she say that?

"Amu.."

She put a finger on my lips, "No, Ikuto. It won't be okay. Just you watch."

She lowered her finger, got on her toes, and closed her eyes. I leaned down, and let our lips meet for a moment.

"Now go get packed. I wouldn't want your family thinking badly of me."

She sent me a smile as I walked over to her balcony. I hate it when she does that.

Don't send me fake smiles anymore, Amu..

It hurts to see you're not happy.

**Amu POV**

As Ikuto hopped off the balcony, I slammed the glass door shut and screamed.

If Ikuto wants to leave, he'll have to get past me first.

Only question is _how._

I paced around my room, trying to think of ways to get him to stay.

I could always..

_No._

No, Amu, no. You won't do that.

But what other option do I have?

No.. I can't do it. I _won't _do it. That's just too cruel. That's too low.

How about.. dear God, no. Not that either.

Ikuto would just die.

Well, I could always.. make him jealous..

I guess that could work.

You better watch out, Ikuto.

I'm going to make you wish you could stay to see what crazy thing I'll do next.

**Normal POV **

That night, Amu fell asleep with determination.

Ikuto _had _to stay, whether he liked it or not.

Amu needed him more than anything.

And she wasn't willing to let go just yet.

**Amu POV**

Morning rolled around pretty quickly. Well, not quite morning. More like late afternoon. The time read 3:39pm.

I immediately grabbed my phone and scrolled down my contacts.

I felt a smirk forming. Oh, yes. This was going to work perfectly.

"Hello?" a familiar voice greeted.

"Hey, Kukai!" I yelled over the phone, "It's been awhile, eh? Wanna hang out today?"

"Hinamori? Hey! How have you been?" he shouted exthusiastically, "You don't have plans with that Ikuto guy, huh? I was wondering when you'd call. We've all missed you so much."

I had to hold back a laugh.

_Yeah, right._

"Nope, no plans with him," I smirked to myself, "So what do you say?"

"Sure, I'd love to! I'll come around at six to pick you up, just like good times."

"Yeah.. just like good times.." I smiled and hung up.

Well then, Amu. Looks like you've got yourself a date with Souma Kukai.

Watch out Tsukiyomi Ikuto, your precious little Amu might just slip out of your grasp.

As if on cue, Ikuto texted me.

_"**From: Iku-chan :3**_

_Hey, Amu, wanna hang out today? :)"_

What a surprise he's in for.

_"No can do, sweet heart. I'll be hanging out with Kukai3 ;3"_

Not even five seconds passed by, and Ikuto had texted me back already.

_"**From: Iku-chan :3**_

_..who's Kukai? :/"_

I had to prevent myself my laughing.

_"Oh, just some cute guy I know. He's really funny too. He was a really close friend of mine, but I haven't seen him in awhile. So I was thinking we'd hang out today. So I'm sorry hun, but I'm booked."_

I wanted to high five myself. I'm pretty damn good. I headed over to my closet to find something to wear.

No, this won't do.

Not this either.. but maybe this? Yes. That goes well with this skirt.

Oh my, Kukai dear, you're in for a surprise.

_"**From: Iku-chan :3**_

_Oh.."_

_"What? Are you.. jealous?"_

I couldn't help but laugh.

Ikuto. Jealous. Of Souma Kukai. What a joke.

_"**From: Iku-chan :3**_

_What? Me, jealous? No."_

Wow, Ikuto. And I thought I was bad at lying.

_"Sure you're not."_

I put the clothes I was going to wear on my bed and headed towards the bathroom for a shower.

Ugh, heat is gross.

My skin feels sticky. And to top it off, my hair feels like it's glued to the back of my neck and face.

_Disgusting. _

I proceeded in taking off my clothes and hopping in the shower, feeling the warm water on my skin.

I sighed in content.

Showers are the best thing in the whole world.

I looked down at my wrist.

I'm not used to it not stinging anymore.

Showers used to hurt.

I'm actually kind of surprised that I've gotten this far. Though, of course it's all thanks to Ikuto. I don't know where I'd be if I never met him..

Sighing, I turned off the water and hopped out of the tub, wrapping a fluffy pink towel around me. I toweled off my hair, trying to get the majority of water out, and then put it up in a messy bun.

I grabbed my iPod and started playing Do It Now Remember It Later by Sleeping With Sirens.

Okay, I admit. I have a bit of a fetish for American bands. Sue me.

I started to sing some of the lyrics, stumbling over my words a bit. It's actually kind of hard to sing in English.

As I blow dried my hair, I hummed along.

Up next on my playlist was Shake Tramp by Marianas Trench, my favorite Canadian band. I laughed to myself.

_Try a little more, little more, little more_

_They slap you like a bitch_

_And you take it like a whore_

Oh, Josh Ramsay. How I love you.

Humming the tune to myself, I began to dress myself. Matching light pink bra and underwear first of course. Next came the long sleeved red and black striped shirt which exposed my collar bone and a tad bit of my shoulders. Then the black ruffled skirt with a red covering over each layer. I put on a black belt with a red and black plaid bag attached. It had black lace at the edges, two black stripes, and a chain with a heart, a spade, and a clover on it. Finally, I slid on the black thigh highs and black combat boots with red laces.

I smiled at myself in the mirror, combed out my hair, and slid in little red top hat with two small black feathers and a jem on it. Then I applied a bit of eyeliner and mascara, with a touch of strawberry lip gloss.

I smiled again.

_Perfect._

Finally ready.

I looked over at the time. 5:52pm.

Just in time, too.

_"**From: Kukai**_

_Yo, Hinamori! You ready yet? Or are you being all girly and doing your makeup? I'm almost at your house, so don't keep my waiting! Cya soon! :P"_

I giggled. Only Kukai.

_"Who do you think I am? I've been waiting forever! Okay, not really. I just finished getting ready. xD Hurry over before I change my mind!"_

Poor boy doesn't know what's coming at him.

_"**From: Kukai**_

_Alright, alright, jeez. I can see you house. Come meet me outside?"_

I smirked and shoved my phone in my bag and ran down the stairs, shouting to mama and papa,

"I'll be back late! Don't wait up for me! Going out with some friends!"

I threw open the door and saw Kukai's surprised face at my steps. I grinned.

"Hey."

"H-Hinamori?" Kukai stuttered out, taking in my outfit, "Jeez, it's been forever.. not quite used to this type of outfit. Don't you think you're a bit.. overdressed?"

I giggled and looked over Kukai's outfit. He wore a pair of black skinnies, a white button down shirt that was rolled up to his elbows, a black vest, a green tie, and green Vans.

"I could say the same thing for you."

He laughed, "I guess so. I didn't really know how to dress since you're the only one that knows what we were doing."

I grinned once again, "That's the fun in it. I _don't _know what we're doing."

Kukai grinned back and held out his hand.

"Shall we find out?"

I gently slid one pale hand into his tan, outstreched one.

Sending a smile, I nodded.

"We shall."

Oh, boys

How gullible they can be

Never know what they're in for

Well, well

Ikuto, Kukai

You two

Have no idea

Of what plans I have in store for you.

Things are about to get hectic

All because of one little surprise

Bet you wish

You never uttered a word, right?

No taking it back now.

You wanna play a game?

I've got so many tricks

Hidden in my sleeve

You wanna play dirty?

You wanna leave?

Not without getting past me.

Oh, boys

They never understand

A woman's logic

They never understand

They won't be able to leave

They can't get past us

Without a fight.

I won't back down

But the question is

Will he?

**Moona-chan: **Wow. Um. That poem thing really fucking sucked. I kind of hate myself for leaving it like that. But honestly, I'm fresh out of ideas. But I couldn't just leave the story like that. I haven't updated in a long, long time. Sorry for such a horrible chapter, guys. I promise I'll try my best to make it up to you next time. Anyways, until next time.

Signed with Love,

xXxPoisonedAngelxXx


	21. Reckless

**Moona-chan: **Hey guys. Sorry for the late update, once again. Personal problems have been weighing down on me for a bit. Extremely rough breakup, stress at school, depression, anxiety, self harm. Jeez. Just a lot. But hey! I can't complain, and I won't annoy you all with my petty problems, haha. But yeah, I'm back and ready to update. High school's been super exhausting, and since I go to an art school, I have extra work to do. I promise I'll try my best you for being patient! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

_**Faded Poems and Broken Violins**_  
><strong>~!Warning: Strong Language!~<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>We own nothing besides the plot and poems  
><strong>Chapter 21: <strong>Reckless.

**Amu POV**

Hours.

It's been hours since Kukai and I left my house.

And it's been hours since I last heard from Ikuto.

"Hinamori?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and met a pair of warm green eyes filled with concern.

"Yeah?"

"You alright?" he asked in a whisper, eyes searching mine. I sent a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I laughed, "Just thinking a bit."

Kukai sighed and ruffled my hair, sending me his famous grin, "Cheer up and don't think about that Ikuto guy. It's so obvious you are."

I could feel my facade crumbling down, the fake happiness slowly melting from my face.

I tried putting it back up, but my lips refused to curl up into the lie I labeled as a smile.

"I'm not thinking of him, I can assure you that. I'm totally fine."

_Stop lying, Amu._

Kukai sighed, but he shrugged, grabbed my hand, and we took another round through the mall. As we passed a Hot Topic, I noticed a girl with short blue hair and matching eyes.

"Miki?" I called out, stopping in my tracks. She turned around, sporting off a blue barrette with a darker blue spade, a blue button down shirt, a black vest, black skinnies, and black combat boots with dark blue shoe strings. Light pink lips curled into a smile.

"Yo! Amu!" Miki called back, basically strutting towards us, "How have you been? It's been awhile. A year or two, I think."

_All because of the bad crowd you fell into. The ones you call your "friends."_

"I've been great," I lied through my teeth, slightly squeezing Kukai's hand, "What have you been up to?"

The fifteen year old grinned and pulled out a packet of Newport cigarettes.

"You know, the usual."

I felt Kukai take a baby step backwards. I almost laughed.

Can't blame him though. Smoking's pretty gross.

_Good luck in ten years, Miki._

"Well, Kukai and I were just about to leave, actually. We'll have to catch up later."

"Wait," Miki smirked, "Think you and pretty boy over there could join me for a smoke?"

Kukai and I exchanged looks. One of terror, one of curiosity. I squeezed his hand slightly, set a smile, and then a nod to Miki.

"Splendid," Miki cheered, and then called for her friends, "Ran, grab Yoru and Kiseki and let's go out for a smoke."

The command was obeyed by each and every member called, one of males wrapping his left arm around Miki's shoulder. He has unruly blue hair, much darker than Miki's, and shocking gold eyes, that of a cat it seemed. He wore a long sleeved black shirt with a silver cross, black skinnies, a silver studded belt and black Converse. His name was Yoru, I've run into him quite a few times.

There was another couple that tagged along with them. Ran, who had dark pink hair and matching eyes. She wore a hot pink dress with long black sleeves, a little black bow in the middle of the chest and black ribbons going down in a crisscross pattern that ended at her waist. She wore black tights underneath and pink Vans. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she beamed a smile. Kiseki, who had lavender hair and deep, blue eyes, wore a blue and white stripped sweater, plain jeans, and sky blue Vans.

Kukai seemed surprised that I decided to follow them. I tried to ignore his stares. Sure, this was probably an extremely dumb idea, but hell.

_What do I have to lose?_

Miki's crew led us to the very back of the mall, and outside. Mikik automatically began to light her first cigarette. Yoru followed and Kiseki just stared off into space. Ran lit up a smoke as well, and cringed a bit.

"I hate the smell of cigarettes," she pouted. I rose a brow.

"Why do you smoke then?"

She let out a loud and obnoxious laugh, "To stay skinny, duh. Being a cheerleader is hard, hun. You gotta take extreme measures."

I almost let out a laugh of my own. How could anyone be so dumb? Smoking to stay fit for cheerleading? Ha. What a joke.

"Everyone has their reasons," Miki decided to say, exhaling the smoke, "Some just want to escape from stress. Others do it to fit in. There's so many different reasons. Maybe they're not the best, but it's something to cling onto when you have nothing else. It fills this empty place. Not forever, of course. I know that it's killing me. I don't particularly care. Alcohol will kill me. Cigs will kill me. Everything I do will eventually tear me down. You just gotta live it up. The question is, Hinamori, if it's really worth it."

I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Maybe Miki did go down the wrong path. Or maybe she just needed to live.

_That's all we ever want._

"That's dumb," Kukai started, "If you really wanted to live, you wouldn't do things that kill you."

Yoru grinned and tilted his head back, "But that's just the thing. Everything we do _will _kill us, but we're going to die either way. Only way to stay sane is to rebel a bit. Get out and have fun. And the fun things just so happen to be toxic."

"Being perfect is no fun," I whispered. I don't think I ever understood smoking or drinking more in my life.

"Exactly. Being all stiff and perfect and just.. _good,_" Miki crinkled her nose in disgust, "it's never been my thing, honestly."

Miki's eyes flickered towards mine.

"No one likes to obey the rules."

Yoru offered me a cigarette. I stared at it.

_Will I become just like them?_

My hand began to reach out for it.

_Disregarding the rules?_

Kukai grabbed my hand and sent a glare towards Yoru, "Hinamori, what the hell?" he growled.

I sent a glare, "It's none of your business, Kukai. I'll be fine."

He looked hurt. I didn't have the guts to apologize. I just swiped away the cigarette, waited for Yoru to light it, and I took a puff.

"It's okay to cough," Miki said, "It's only natural."

I grinned and exhaled, "I'm pretty sure I'm alright, actually."

"Alright, that's it," Kukai grabbed my hand, "We're leaving. Now."

Snatching it back, I glared, "No, what the fuck? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. You can leave if you want."

_Stop being such a terrible friend, Amu._

Kukai sighed and sat behind me.

_Stop it._

"I won't participate, but I can't just leave you here."

_Fuck, Amu, he cares._

"We have vodka."

_Please._

Miki grinned and pulled out a bottle of Pinnacle Cotton Candy Vodka.

_No._

"I'm all in."

_Amu, what the hell are you doing?_

Miki took a swig, and passed the bottle to me.

_Fuck._

I gulped it down, ignoring the burn.

_Amu, please. Stop._

I heard Kukai sniffled as I sighed loudly and passed the bottle to Yoru.

After that, everything was a blur. I just remember finishing off the bottle and stumbling around. I waved off Miki and her crew as they left me dazed and tingly.

"Time to go home, Hinamori," he told me, standing me up. I fell into his chest and started giggling uncontrollably.

"No," I managed to stutter out.

I laid on Kukai's chest, smiling, as I listened to his heart race. And then, out of no where, a very pissed sounding Ikuto entered the scene.

_Oh fuck._

**Ikuto POV**

"What the _fuck_?" I growled at the kid with Amu. The boy tried to detach Amu and began stuttering.

"Aw man, I don't want any trouble," he began, "I'm just trying to help her out, I swear. I tried to tell her no. I couldn't just leave her here. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Hinamori, get up. Get it together."

"Hey, what's going on?"

Amu's words were slurred, her face an unfamiliar pink. Her eyes were unfocused and her posture seemed off.

She reeked.

"What happened?"

"This girl Miki and her friends ran into Hinamori," he rushed through the story, seeming sick, "they offered her smokes and vodka. And she took it. And I tried so hard to get her to stop man, I'm so sorry."

_Amu? Drinking? Smoking?_

"God damn it."

_What the actual fuck._

I walked over to Amu and took her from Kukai, laying her head against my chest. She seemed confused, not quite catching my actions.

"You," I motioned towards the boy, "Go home. I'm going to take Amu back to her house, don't worry. She'll be fine."

The kid seemed hesitant, but left with a look of guilt.

"Ikuto?" Amu whispered, trying to pull her head up. I looked down and gritted my teeth.

"What the fuck, Amu?" I growled, "Why did you do this?"

Her eyebrows furrowed together and she weakly pushed me off of her.

"_Fuck _you, man," she began, her words slurred together again, "You don't care."

"I don't care? I'm the only one who takes care of you anymore, Amu!"

_Fuck. Just. Fuck everything._

Pale pink lips opened, brain working to find a suitable comeback. Instead she raised a hand, and extended one, slender finger, and grinned.

_This is getting extremely annoying._

I grabbed Amu's waist, and pulled her close to me.

"Now, you listen here," I growled, searching dazed golden eyes, "You're going to get on my back, and I'm going to take you home, got it?"

She stared at me, face blank, mouth parted slightly. I motioned for her to hop on my back, and after she did, I took off in the direction of her house.

Sure, I probably gained a couple of weird stares, but I needed to get Amu home, and this was the first thing I thought we reached her house, I noticed that no one was home, yet the front door was unlocked. I shrugged it off and took Amu up to her room, carefully placing her on her bed. She began giggling and rolled over on her side.

She rolled back over to the other side, noticing her poem book and favorite pen. She began scribbling down words like a mad man.

"Amu-"

"Shut up," she snapped, words still slightly slurred, "I'm writing."

Once she was satisfied, she rolled onto her back, staring at her ceiling, as if counting the cracks.

_If she can even count right now._

I sighed a threw the covers over her and watched as she snuggled into them. Exhaustion was probably hitting in just about now.

As she fought off exhaustion, I decided to run downstairs and fill up a glass with water and then check in her bathroom for some pain killers.

_Lucky me, Advil._

As I opened the door to Amu's room again, I could hear some faint snoring.

_Figures. She's out like a light. Not surprising._

Placing the water and Advil on her nightstand, I carefully grabbed her notebook and pen. Fighting off the urge to read her passage, I flipped to a blank page and decided to leave a note.

"It's probably best to leave now," I whispered to myself, making my way over to Amu, "I love you."

And so I left her with a kiss on the forehead.

**Amu POV**

"What the _fuck_?" I whispered to myself as I finally came to. I sat up and instantly regretted it.

_My fucking head._

"What the actual fuck happened."

I glanced at my nightstand and noticed a glass of water, Advil, and my notebook and pen. Basically dragging myself out of bed, I stumbled towards the medication and downed the tablets as quickly as I could.

_Water never tasted so good before._

I looked down at the notebook and noticed a note.

_Ikuto's handwriting? Ikuto was here?_

"_Dear Amu,_" it read, "_We need to talk._"

I groaned.

_Way to leave an informative note, Ikuto._

I flipped through the inked pages. I knew I must have written something last night. I always do. No matter what, I _always _do.

"Ah, here it is."

At first it looked like incoherent scribbling, but as I examined it closer, I could make out the words. There were quite a few errors, but hell. I don't even really remember writing it in the first place.

**Reckless.**

You know  
>sometimes<br>I just sit back  
>grab a smoke<br>and reminisce  
>about all<br>the things  
>that I<br>have gone through

I guess  
>I just sort of<br>got used  
>to feeling pain<br>in fact  
>I just started<br>to feel numb  
>after awhile<p>

once you get  
>used to<br>the feeling  
>life becomes<br>somewhat  
>bearable<br>yet somehow  
>unnecessary<p>

it's a  
>complicated<br>feeling  
>to be<br>perfectly honest

to be able  
>to say<br>that you  
>wouldn't miss<br>a single thing  
>if you had<br>finally decided  
>to kill yourself<br>yet  
>you continue<br>to live and breathe  
>just because<br>someone  
>is holding you back<p>

only problem is  
>what if<br>your life line  
>decides<br>that you  
>just aren't enough<br>and that they  
>just can't<br>keep trying  
>they can't<br>keep watching  
>themselves fail<br>at making you  
>happy<p>

maybe  
>I always<br>deserved  
>to have this<br>happen

maybe  
>it was<br>supposed to be  
>some sort of<br>rude awakening

I guess  
>it sort of<br>backfired though

you literally  
>just proved<br>that everyone  
>eventually leaves<br>no matter what  
>they promise you<br>no matter what  
>sweet nothings<br>they whisper to you  
>when you're alone<p>

funny  
>just how easy<br>it was for you  
>to lose interest<br>in me  
>and toss me aside<br>throw me away  
>like I was absolutely<br>nothing

I can't complain though  
>you gave me<br>absolutely  
>everything<br>I could ever ask for  
>and even more<br>than just that  
>so thank you<br>for pretending  
>like you cared<br>for just a little while

you told me  
>that my sadness<br>was just  
>too much<br>for you  
>that I was just<br>too immature  
>to be<br>with someone  
>like you<p>

well  
>let's take a look<br>at how fucking  
>immature<br>I'm going to be  
>over this<p>

I stopped caring  
>long before you did<br>but I stopped  
>in a different way<br>I don't give  
>one single<br>fuck  
>about what happens<br>to me  
>anymore<p>

I'm going to go out  
>I'm going to party<br>and I'm going to  
>get drunk<br>and smoke  
>hell, I'll even<br>kiss whoever  
>I find remotely<br>attractive

I'm going to wear  
>just what I want<br>I don't have  
>to make myself<br>pretty  
>for anyone<br>won't have to worry  
>about your opinion<br>on what I wear  
>or what I even<br>listen to

I can't fucking wait  
>to see your face<br>once you see  
>what's become<br>of me

aren't I just  
>a work of art<br>drunk  
>carefree<br>and reckless

I'm sick  
>of wasting<br>all of this ink  
>on you<p>

this is farewell  
>dear old friend<br>of mine

I hope  
>you enjoy<br>the new me  
>I have no friends<br>to prove myself to  
>so I suppose<br>that it just doesn't  
>even matter anymore<p>

self destruction  
>never felt<br>so good  
>before<p>

it's not necessarily  
>your fault<br>no worries

now that you let go  
>I can let go too.<p>

Whoa. Most definitely not my best, but it sure does give me some idea of what exactly was going through my mind last night.

_God damn it, Amu._

**Moona-chan: **Whew. Sorry. That was probably the worst thing I've ever written. I've been working on my poetry (the ones I've written recently are better than this one, really) and such, but I haven't worked on my actually writing in awhile. Anyways, thank you so much for putting up with me, guys! I decided to discard my last entry, my Author's Note, since I am, in fact, back. At least for the time being. Hopefully I can get over all that has been going on and update for you lovely folks. Thank you once again!


	22. Important, Thank you so much

**Hello everyone! I am terribly sorry for such a long wait. I'll be surprised if any of you are reading this right now. It's been such a long time. Anyways, I'm going to pick this story back up, but first I'm going to edit previous chapters. I've already done chapters one and three, since two was Suki's chapter. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and encouragement. It means the world to me. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I'm still in the process of recovery, even if it has been over a year. Things like this just don't disappear. Thank you so much for sticking by me though. I love you all so much. I'm so sorry for leaving.**

**Thank you.**

**Much love!**  
><strong>xoxo<strong>  
><strong>ßambï<strong>


	23. Love

**Moona-chan:** I guess I'll keep up this Moona-chan thing haha. I'd prefer you all call me Bambi though. Either is fine though. Also, if you guys could check me out on instagram ( aikotobambi), twitter ( aikotobambi), youtube (DailyTeenScene , Friday person), or deviantART (NeekoMoona-chan), that would be so great! Anyway, let's get back to the story (finally)!

**AMU POV**

Birds.

Chirping.

Almost as if they were alarm clocks, the chirping only got louder the longer I laid around. Talking to Ikuto didn't seem like much of a better scenario, though.

What exactly happened again?

Blurs.

Illegality.

_..Kukai._

Oh god, I definitely need to apologize to Kukai. The poor boy.. I actually feel kind of bad for doing what I did while he was around. I was upset but.. what a poor excuse for such behavior. I hope he doesn't hate me..

Maybe I should text him?

As if on cue, my cellphone started ringing.

God, what a shrill noise.

After checking caller ID, I sighed. Of course.

"Hello?" my voice was dry and unfamiliar.

"Amu.." an all too familiar husky voice greeted, "Can you open the door?"

"Huh..?"

"The door."

I let out a sigh and removed the book from my lap. I still hadn't removed the empty glass from my nightstand.

_How long have I been awake again?_

I made my way downstairs, phone still pressed to a not so eager ear.

_Parents aren't home. Figures._

I opened the door, only to greet an all too perfect Ikuto.

_Wow. Forgot how beautiful he is._

"Uhh.. Amu.." he started, raising a fine brow slightly, "maybe you should hang up the phone?"

"Oh. Yeah."

I stared at him for another five seconds before slowly flipping the phone shut.

"You alright?"

His worried tone made my stomach drop a little. There was an underlying hint of anger.

I motioned for him to come inside. We made our way to the couch, and I curled up on his lay, head resting on his knee. He stroked my hair lightly, his other hand wrapped tightly around my own.

"God, Amu.. what were you thinking?"

A sudden wave of emotion flooded over me. I pulled myself up, merely centimeters from Ikuto's face.

"What was I thinking?" I yelled, too disgruntled to register the pain, "What was I thinking? I was pissed! I wasn't thinking. I was.. I was upset.."

Ikuto grabbed my wrists tightly, eyes squinted, jaw tight. It was as if he were about to snarl at me.

"That's no excuse to destroy yourself, Amu."

"What do you know about self destruction?"

"I've been around you long enough to know when you're purposely doing things that would harm you."

"I was just having fun!"

"Getting wrecked isn't really your idea of fun, now is it, love?"

Tears.

Angry tears.

They were warm and unwanted.

Frustration, pain and sorrow all mixed.

"Please don't leave me.." I managed to whisper through the tears.

He embraced me, stroking my hair again.

"You're so stupid."

"E-Excuse me?!"

"I'd never leave you."

"But you're going on vacation.."

"It's just vacation, darling."

"For how long?"

There was a deep sigh.

"Two weeks."

"No way."

"Calm down, Amu," kisses were placed atop of my head, "There's always the phone."

"But that's not the same! I.. I need you here with me or else I'll.. I-I'll.."

Hyperventilation.

"Deep breaths, Amu. Stay calm," his voice was harsh yet tender, "I promise nothing bad would happen. I know you're in a dark place right now, but it wouldn't be the end of your life or anything. Either way, I think I figured out the solution to this little problem.

"You're not going?"

I stared into his mesmerizing sapphire orbs as he cracked a smirk.

"No, silly, I'm still going. But you're coming with me."

"W-What?"

"You heard me."

Panic arose in my system like a second nature. Adrenaline and fear seared through my veins. My eyes were most definitely widened and they searched for the answers in my partner's eyes.

"T-There's no way! Where would we be going? What would I pack? There's no way that I could stay away from home for so long! What would I tell my parents? Wouldn't I need money? Would we be going overseas? Would we get on a boat or plane? I get sick really easily! I don't think I could han-"

Ikuto shut me up with a swift kiss. My muscles were immediately eased from their previously tense state. My mind went blank. The panic, fear and overall swirl of emotions were put to rest. Before I could return the kiss, he pulled away. His lips were gone as suddenly as they were originally placed there. He sent me his infamous smirk, eyes gleaming with what seemed to be.. affection?

More tears formed in my eyes but I let out a relieved smile.

"How rude."

I lunged in for another kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. I felt him smile slightly as he entangled a hand in my hair, pulling me closer.

_Jerk._

**IKUTO POV**

God, it's so easy putting her mind at ease. She really is a piece of work, that Amu. Thank heavens it is, or else I'd be in big trouble. Poor girl gets her head so wrapped around so many little thoughts. Must be stressful for someone in her state.

We parted from our kiss, foreheads resting on each other. I saw pale pink lips form a small smile.

"You have no idea how terribly I've been wanting to do that."

"Heh, really? Is my Amu turning into a bit of a pervert?"

Her cheeks flared pink, matching her hair. She flashed a big smile, melodic giggling chiming through her embarrassment.

"Maybe I picked it up from a certain Blue Haired Pervert I met at the crosswalk."

Before I could think of a witty remark, a sudden flash of pain crossed my favorite pinkette's face.

"Let's get you back to bed."

She gave me a little smile, clearly still distressed. Before she could stand up, I picked her up bridal style.

"E-Eh? Ikuto?"

I kissed her cheek, "You can't expect me to let you walk up all of those stairs on your own right now, can you? Princesses get special privileges."

She giggled and rested her head on my chest. I held her closer and took her up to her room. I laid her back down on her bed and watched as she snuggled closer to the heavy quilt.

"Hold on, I'm going to get you more medicine. I'll be right back."

She nodded and watched as I grabbed the glass from her nightstand and left to get more. I went back downstairs to check for any notes her parents may have left around so I could have an accurate checkout time.

_"Dear Amu-chan_

_We're so sorry to leave out once again! You seemed so peaceful sleeping, so we didn't bother waking you to tell you. Papa and I won't be back until late tomorrow evening. We have some business to take care of in the neighboring town. We took Ami with us so you wouldn't be bothered. We're so sorry for leaving so often. Please remember that Papa and I love you very much, We promise things will be different soon!_

_Much love_

_Mama and Papa"_

I put the note back down on the counter and filled the glass with some more water with a sigh. I quickly grabbed some Advil from the medicine cabinet in the main bathroom and made my way back upstairs to Amu's room, only to find her scribbling in her notebook.

"Another poem?"

"Mhm."

She didn't even bother looking up. She was smiling, but focused.

"Sorry miss, but it's time for your medicine."

She grinned and put her pen down.

"That's fine. I just finished, anyhow."

I sat on the bed beside her, "Open up."

She pouted but didn't fight it.

"Aaaah."

Two little gel like pills were placed on her tongue. Next I put the glass to her lips, and tilted upwards so she could drink some. She swallowed and smiled, snuggled back into bed, notebook hugged tightly against her chest.

"Am I going to get to read?"

"Maybe."

"Please?"

"What's the magic word?"

"..Please?"

"The other one."

"Pretty please?"

"There ya go."

She handed off the book with a big grin and closed her eyes. I flipped it open to the newest entry. Before I began to read, she grabbed my hand and looked up at me with her golden doe eyes, a pout on her pale face.

"Hey, Ikuto?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not mad at me?"

"I was at first, honestly, but I got over it after thinking about it last night. I thought it would probably be best to just try and console you and put this whole ordeal to rest."

"So you promise that you're not mad at me?"

"Promise."

She smiled again and inched closer to me, closing her eyes to rest.

**Love.**

What is love?

How would I  
>know anything<br>about love  
>or what exactly<br>it is?

Being a teenager  
>no one really<br>believes  
>that you<br>have any  
>idea<br>as to what  
>love<br>truly is

Can't say  
>I blame them<p>

My idea  
>of love<br>is going  
>to be<br>much different  
>than the next<p>

To me  
>love is<br>imperfect  
>horribly flawed<br>and real

_(love is unconditional_  
><em>and cruel)<em>

Being unconditional  
>it is hard<br>to leave

How can you  
>walk away<br>from the one  
>you need<br>the most?

Do you  
>let them leave<br>or do you  
>chase after them<br>with every  
>ounce<br>of love  
>and desperation<br>held within?

Personally  
>I've never<br>been able  
>to forget<br>entirely  
>about one love<br>and try  
>to find the<br>next  
>poor<br>unfortunate  
>soul<br>I'd grow  
>inevitably<br>attached to

My problem  
>is that you<br>could leave me  
>beaten<br>and broken hearted  
>I would still<br>be eagerly  
>awaiting<br>for you  
>to come back<br>my heart  
>full<br>of love  
>stored<br>just for you

(love is cheap  
>yet priceless<br>but somehow  
>everything)<p>

There is  
>no price<br>or forseeable  
>amount<br>of love  
>that is stored<p>

Sometimes  
>the people<br>we love  
>take advantage<br>of the amount  
>of love<br>we hold  
>because they, too<br>believe it is  
>endless<p>

_(love is rough_  
><em>yet gentle<em>  
><em>and genuine)<em>

_(Love doesn't hurt)_  
>The people<br>we love  
>are inconsiderate<br>and sometimes  
>they<br>decide  
>to hurt us<br>in ways  
>that we can't<br>recover from

But sometimes  
>they are<br>tender  
>caring<br>and warm hearted

_(love is complex_  
><em>yet so simple)<em>

But then again  
>how would I<br>a mere  
>teenager<br>know  
>or understand<br>what love  
>truly is?<p>

Everyone's opinion  
>on love<br>is going  
>to differ<br>from one  
>to the next<p>

_(because_  
><em>love<em>  
><em>is undefinable)<em>

I went to say something to my cute little poet, but I realized she was fast asleep. Out like a light. Poor girl.

I stroked her hair and placed the book on the nightstand, getting into bed next to her. She immediately moved closer to the warmth and attached herself to me. I placed a kiss on her forehead and tucked a tuft of pink hair behind her ear.

_I love you too, Amu._

**Moona-chan:** Ahhhh, I'm terribly sorry for the sappy chapter! I'm also really sorry for seeming to resolve to issue so suddenly! I promise the next chapter will be more action packed and stuff. Anyway, please review and stuff. Thank you so much for reading!


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